Ouranbound 2: A Tale of Two Cities
by AdoribiliusKermode
Summary: When an unexpected enemy decides to attack the Host Club, a shadow king takes measures into his own hands, hurting everything and everyone around him.
1. Act 1 Act 1

"Kyoya." The Otoori sat up. "It's time." Seven thirty. They agreed to leave at eight. "Say your prayers gentlemen, and prepare your consciences. What you will do today neither you nor the world will forget." Dirk and Sollux put their bombs in handbags. "Get ready." It was agreed that Dirk would set the explosives in Ouran, and Sollux in Lobelia. "Ready for this?"  
"Yep. Hey. Do me a favor."

"What's that?"

"IIf you fiind Renge, keep her 2afe, OK?"

"Will do." Sollux flew off in one direction, and Dirk ran off in another. "Lobelia is on the other side of town. The trip will take plenty of time."

"Thank'2." Kyoya and Ritsu looked off in the Distance. "What have we done?"

AN ADORIBILIUSKERMODE FANFICTION

==Months in the past...

A young man stands in a hallway. This day might not seem pivotal now, but from the perspective of later years, it will be the most important in his life. Tell me, what is this young man's name?

==Gangster Brat

Try again, Hikaru. You and Kaoru both tried that on Renge, and we all know how well THAT ended. Try again

==Ritsu Kanasoda

Ritsu Kanasoda is your name. You are an Ouran High School 1st year, and you are in class 1-D. Your lowborn placement is a result of your Yakuza heritage. Another result of this is that you are seen as deadly and dangerous. People give you a wide birth because of this. You are really not as such. Just some minor anger issues, that's all. Recently, you gained an interest in gardening; however, you cannot enter the Gardening Club, as you are seen as a deadly killer. you tend to type in a lowercase manner, BUT WHEN YOU GET PISSED, YOU GET PISSED.

==So, how is life?

Not too good, now that you mention it. Because of some stupid triennial Tokyo Independent School Competition, all students are to join a club for the term. You believed you were screwed beyond recognition, but salvation came in the form of a dark-haired boy and a reciting poster for the Host club.

calculatingExecutive [CE] began pestering capriciousGangster [CG]

CE: Mr. Kanasoda?

CG: yeah

CE: Might I inquire you to what is keeping you?

CG: nothing

CE: Alright. I will be seeing you soon, no?

CG: i might get held up

CE: That's all right. You ARE the only person who signed up, after all.

CG: really? i thought hordes of guys would join.

CE: Well, that's Ouran for you I guess.

calculatingExecutive [CE] ceased pestering capriciousGangster [CG]

Fucking pretentious prick. You focus on getting to the music room. When you arrive, you stride through the doors, where you are met with another dark-haired boy and a black book. "Mr. Kanasoda."

"Otoori? Never knew that you were in the business."

"It's a side venture. A highly profitable one, might I add."

"Hmmm." The shadow king pointed in the direction of the testing room. "Before I show you in, would you like me to show you your comrades for the semester?"

"Go right ahead." Kyoya showed the yakuza heir around. "Over here are our 'Tsundere' and 'Nerdy' types, at it again-" Ritsu saw a black haired boy with 3D glasses and a brown-haired boy with a purple stripe down the middle of his hair beating each other to death and tears, while some girls watched. "II wiill 2miite you, ED!"

"I'd like to see you try Sol..." Ritsu could only watch in horror. "I know. And if you wait awhile, they kiss! But there are more. Like our twins, Hikaru and Kaoru..."

"Hikaru!"

"Kaoru!"

"KYAAAAAAA!" The Yakuza heir was dumbstruck. "Buh-buh-the-brothers-how?"

"Someone must feel like Dante, braving the dangers of hell. I certainly feel like Virgil."

"Y-yeah." Kyoya's Italian Literature references were lost on Ritsu.

"Over here is Dirk Strider, our 'Kuudere'-" Over at Dirk's setup, the host was absentmindedly typing on his phone, while his guests were trying to get his attention. "Dirk, did you know it's my birthday today? I'm turning Seventeen."

"Oh? I hadn't noticed." Ritsu realized it was buildup when Dirk kicked a small birthday present under the table. But he quickly followed Kyoya just as soon.

"We did loose two members to graduation, Mitsukuni Haninouka and Takashi Morinozuka. Both are in college now. But...here is the man himself, Tamaki Suoh, the princely type." The king stood up to see the initiate. "Hi. Ritsu Kanasoda, right?" The girls behind him cowered in fear, and Tamaki noticed. "Never fear, my princesses. Even if our future host here does bite, your prince is here to protect you!" Tamaki shook Ritsu's hand. "Come with me. We've got some testing to do." Ritsu was led into a room with three girls. The lighting was arranged. _Come on, you can do this, just get through this..._ The girls were no different than the ones in the last room, fearful of his presence. Finally, after what seemed like agonizing hours (but turned out to be seconds) one of the girls had the courage to speak. "Ritsu-kun, is it true that if your eyes meet mine, I'll suffer three months of nightmares?" Two other questions followed in quick succession: "If your shoulders bump into mine, will I end up in the hospital?"

"If I talk back to you, will I die?" Ritsu opened his mouth to speak, grinning devilishly: "Well, I can say no to all of those, girls, but if you kiss me, then I can't say you won't fall in love with me."

The testing went surprisingly well; Ritsu walked back with a spring in his step. The hosts have other plans, however. "So, wwho wwas that guy anywway?" Kyoya pulled out his black book. "Ritsu Kanasoda. Class 1-D. The heir of the most powerful yakuza boss in the whole Kanto region. And-you might like this-Reiko's third cousin." Eridan shrugged. "And Renge has digressed the transcript?"

"THAT I HAVE!" A certain otaku burst through the door, clad in a Mew Ichigo costume. "OK, why the Sailor Moon knockoff cosplay, and what did you think?"

"UHH, Dirk. This is Tokyo Mew Mew. I thought you knew anime. For shame. And yes, I think I have came up with a result. Certainly our yakuza friend is not _moe_, so I see it fit to have something befit his past. Gentlemen, may I present Ritsu Kanasoda, the-BAD BOY/REBEL TYPE!" Claps and cheers from all round. "However, we do have bigger fish to fry. The competition is coming up. Three schools are participating: Kenran High, Lobelia Girls Academy, and our own Ouran."

"So?"

"Kenran High: Nothing of note, except for their own host club, led by Jean-Pierre Leo." Tamaki spoke up. "Jean-Pierre's a childhood friend of mine, when we were in France. He moved to Japan about the same time as I did." Renge cleared her throat. "Right. They also have a strong sports program. They have the athletics gold medal in the bag."

"Shouldn't be too bad. What of Lobelia Girls Academy?" At this, Renge cleared her throat. "The school...They have the performing arts. They've got a trump card."

"What ii2 iit?"

"The White Lily League-Also known as the Zuka Club."

"So?"

"They have...other intentions. They see the host clubs as beguilers of "virgins" leading them to...something. Crazy, if you ask me."

"Wwell, fine. Let's get some sleep. Wwe can reconvvene and plan tomoroww."

"We have all week to prepare. In the meantime, Kenran High is arriving early. They want to take some days to prepare with us. Joint practice."

FANFICTION MEDIA PRESENTS

Eridan walked home to his dorm. Upon arrival at the flat, he got a text from Dave of all people.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]

TG: yo douchebagmchipsterstien

CA: wwadya want davv

TG: imma haveta pull outa otoori

TG: i mean in three months their stocks are gonna drop like its hot

CA: fine wwhat do you wwant me to do about it

TG: just wanted to let yo ass know

CA: kay

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]

It probably helps to explain that one of the ways the complex in New York gets food is because Dave and Aradia abuse the stock market via time travel. Without that, Eridan would not be here now. The ex-troll's train of thought was interrupted by the slam of a door. "Oh. Hey Reiko."  
"Hey Eridan. How did my darling cousin do in the trials?"

"Not half bad, actually. Ren gavve him the "rebel" type."  
"When does he start?"

"Tomoroww." Reiko turned out the light for Eridan. "I'm going to take a shower. Night."

"Night." Eridan pulled out the covers. "Hell an damnation."

A day passed. Eridan was busy blushing at some guests (using his wand to increase blood flow) when a good-looking young man with blond hair and blue eyes went through the door.

"Tamaki!"

"Jean! Ca va, mon ami?"

"Ca va, ca va. Et toi?

"Je suis tres bien." Tamaki turned to address the growing crowd. "Oh, I should introduce this young man: Ladies, may I present Jean-Pierre Leo, the leader and princely type of the Kenran High School Host Club." Jean kissed the hand of the nearest girl. "How do you do, my princess..." The girl was close to fainting. "And my I present my associates, Wang Han, and Yoshitsuna Goutokunji." At this, a Chinese man with long hair draped in the front and a tall, dark-skinned, well built man with a short ponytail stepped through the door. "These three are not my host club's full cast, I can assure you. We do have about eight members in total. The other five are running late."

"Well then. Seeing as there IS one school not participating in the joint practice, what can we learn about them?" Wang whipped out a black binder. "The White Lily League is what we have to worry about. Founded in 1986, they are an all-female performing arts group. They have been compared with host clubs, and they have gained a fanbase inside and outside their school walls."

"Anything of note?"

"No-oh, wait. In several interviews, they've denounced host clubs, condemning them as, and I quote, 'tricksters who lead maidens astray'." Wang closed the binder with an unsatisfying SLAM. "So wwhatcha sayin is that it's personal for them, right?" Wang gave a nod. "All the more reason we let them win something. Their families also have huge influence in multiple corporations, and we can't risk a major business partner falling out because some egotistical lesbian lost out on a competition prize, to men of all people."

"Wwhale, that's all one. Wwhadya say wwe start practicing?"

"Alright, but the other five hosts have out equipment-"

"U2e our2. We've got more than plenty."

"Alright." Tamaki turned to the hosts. "Jake! Get the equipment." The host club got set up, then Jean started strumming the spare guitar, before bursting out in song:

_"Now's the time, get in line, don't be afraid tonight; _

_We're gonna take you high, before you realize _

_'Round and 'round you'll go, up and down, never slow _

_Feel the excitement grow, oh _

_This is where you let go-"_ and the song let loose. The speakers were exploding with sensual energy, the girls cheering, Tamaki taking over the vocals:

_ "Oh, oh, we're on a mission nothing, nothing, can stand in our way _

_Oh, oh, we don't need permission _

_We're gonna rise up and we'll be the change _

_Oh, oh, hear us on your stereo _

_Oh, oh, we're about to lose control _

_Oh, oh, everybody knows _

_Oh, oh, this is where you let go."_ The girls were screaming; pure vigor that you would expect from a volcano. Finally, Eridan let loose:

_"And put your hands u-u-up_

_Wwere gonna havve some f-u-u-n_

_Wwevve only just beg-u-u-n_

_And it's too late to r-u-u-n you can't run_

_So put em u-u-up_

_Wwere gonna havve some f-u-u-n_

_Turn up the bass let it b-u-u-mp_

_Wwevve only just begun and you cant run-"_ All three of them joined in, the screeching reached its peak, like the climax of lovemaking:

_ "Hands high like a roller coaster _

_This love is taking over _

_Take us higher here we go _

_Oh, oh, oh _

_Welcome to the show _

_Gravity we're defying _

_'Cause we were made for flying _

_We're about to lose control _

_Welcome to the show!"_

OURANBOUND TWO

"That wa2...great."

"Yeah. Let's take five." Tamaki set his guitar down, and ran to meet his fans. Meanwhile, Kyoya had other concerns. "Hello."

"Oh. Hello there, Wang."

"Kyoya."

"Nice stunt you pulled off there in Paris back in April."

"Oh. Ha. You...shouldn't be thanking me. The Han family was abut to get someone to arrange an accident for the heads of 'Grand Tonnerre'..." Kyoya shuddered, remembering how Eridan nearly blew Éclair's own head off with a bullet. After the showdown, the hosts got a few weeks in the spotlight; Grand Tonnerre was forced to pay Ten Million Euro for their trouble, and Honey and Mori graduated from Ouran High with flying colors. But Wang continued. "...Our family is in your debt. If there is anything you need, please ask."  
"Thank you."

"However, we haven't heard the last from her, in a way. Miss Tonnerre was a feminist, and The White Lily League took influence from them. So they do have a lot of...ill will towards the Ouran Host Club." Kyoya gave a heavy sigh. _Them again._ "They do seem to come up in conversation a lot these past few days, no?"

"Unfortunately. When you first meet, prepare for some...biting words."

"I'll keep my guard up. By the way, will you be joining us tonight?"

"Of course." Meanwhile, Eridan and Haruhi were chatting: "So, ya did some research on those dykes, I hear."

"Yes. They have four members: Benio Amakuza, Chizuru Maihara, Hinako Tsuwabuki, and..." She looked at her sheet, cracking a smile: "Mei Yasumura."

"Wwait, she wwas a commoner friend a yours, right?"

"I just learned that during the summer she got picked in a lottery. Her dad entered so she could get into the Zuka Club."

"Wwhale, I'm glad you're excited, but im wwonderin if they'll make any...unladylike advvances wwhen they find out you're...ya knoww...a gill?"

"Mei won't let that happen."

"Listfin, I knoww ya havve a lota faith in your frond, but howw shore are you that she-"

"Don't worry. You haven't met her."

"Also, wwhy wwould you care? You should experiment! Get out there..."

"No, I'm...already spoken for." Haruhi had not year revealed that she and Kyoya were a couple; they had barely been together during the summer, and they wouldn't want any flare-ups during the beginning of the year. So it came as no surprise as Eridan raised an eyebrow.

"Wwhale, considerin your time around the Host Club, I suppose it's one of the hosts not spoken for, and I wwould GUESS they havven't graduated already, and it's Rits's first day, so it can't be him. So that leavves four hosts: Jake, Hik, Kao, and Kyo. So...Jake?"

"Nope. I'm good friends with Kanako, I wouldn't do that to her."

"I thought wwe wwere over that, she hooked back wwith wwhat's-his-face-"

"She still likes him, you kidding me?" Eridan shrugged. "Uhhhh...It cant be the twwins, they didn't havve enough screentime in the last Ouranbound, so it has to be Kyo." Eridan looked at Haruhi's worried expression as his lightbulb went on. "Don't wworry, ya secret's safe with me."

"Eri-chan! Are you going to join us? Or has Haruhi lured you in already?"

"Sorry about this, Har. Talk later?" Haruhi shrugged. "Sure." Eridan turned around. "I'm comin, Miss Impatient! An for the last time, stop usin -chan!" Haruhi chuckled as Eridan reached back to his station.

==Meanwhile, at a highly prestigious Tokyo school...

A tall, striking girl, in her third and final year of high school, stepped into the room. Two other girls, one dark-haired first year, and a second year, acknowledged her presence.

"Benio."

"Chizuru."

"Hinako."

"Shall we begin?"

"First of all, where is Mei?"

"She...declined to come."

"I suppose we shall have to plan without her." The oldest stood up and laid out a set of student bios on the table. "The Ouran High School Host Club shutdown shall commence tonight. Hinako here has taken the liberty of...extracting these student bios. First of all, we should take note that they have much more...pluck than other host clubs we've shut down last year. Also, they should be taken much more seriously. This takedown will be to avenge the heartbreak of Lady Éclair, so I'll be taking this much more...genuinely than before. Before we begin, we should probably let in suggestions."

Hinako raised a hand. "I think we should take the time to consider shutting down the Kenran Host Club as well. What do you think?"

"While that is a good idea, I think that would make things too obvious. Also, our numbers will be stretched thin in that case, and with Mei taking a...less active part in out endeavors, we should stick to Ouran." Benio opened the first bio. "Tamaki Suoh. Son of the superintendent. Should be a bit of a bother, but I don't think he will run to his daddy just yet." She selected four of the files. "These four. Eridan Ampora, Sollux Captor, Jake English and Dirk Strider. I've haven't found any info other than that they are at the school because of a prosperous American investment group, Handmaid. Interestingly enough, Handmaid has invested in Suoh, Otoori pharmaceuticals, Hitachiin Electronics-the works. All the host's families have investors in Handmaid." Now was Chizuru's turn to raise a hand. "We could hack into the market, take down some of the stocks. Not only would that be a good way to take down Ouran, but create a rift between, at most, a third of the group with the rest."

"Not sure how it could take down the host club, but it could be an enticing plan B. Alright, next one-wait. This can't be right."

"What is it?"

"This last one-she's a GIRL!"

neutralAttorney [NA] began pestering disgustedFashionista [DF]

NA: Hi Mei!

DF: sup haruhi?

NA: Nothing much. Ready for the competition?

DF: u bet yo ass! im so stoked that i get to see u again!

NA: Yeah! Me too.

DF: kyoya and the host club givin you any trouble girl?

NA: No. How are you and the Zuka club?

DF: not too chill. been a lotta hatin, and not bcause of the competition.

NA: What do you mean?

DF: well, the zuka club has been hatin on the host club, and they might bring them down like its hot. They invited me, but i ant doin any of that stuff.

NA: You can't mean that that they plan to shut down the Host Club?

DF: yeah, i do mean that.

NA: Oh well. I should warn my side. See you in a week?

DF: yeah girl. see ya.

neutralAttorney [NA] ceased pestering disgustedFashionista [DF]

== be disgustedFashionista.

disgustedFashionista? That is not your name. That is your CHUMHANDLE, though.

== enter name: DYYYYYYKEEEEEEEEE

No. No. Just-no.

== Mei Yasumura

That's better. As previously mentioned, your name is Mei. You have been chosen by a lottery to join a super rich school, St. Lobelia's Girls Academy. You don't especially mind. It could be worse. Also, you have access to future clients, as you plan to be a fashion designer one day. You have an admiration for the yakuza, and many say you have a rebellious streak. You're not sure what to make of that. What will you do?

== Be Kyoya. Nothing to do here.

You are now Kyoya.

== Kyoya: Go to Fight Club.

Kyoya walked to the basement of the Music Room. A multitude of boys and young men waited for him, at the bottom. When Tamaki started the Host Club, Kyoya agreed, And even enjoyed the prestige and attention he received, but couldn't help but feel a certain...disgust for the club. A loathing. The Host Club feminized men, and put a frill and a sugarcoat over everything. So Kyoya formed Fight Club. He rented out this basement for his purposes.

Kyoya walked down the stairs, each of the stairs registering a _CLANG _as he walked down each step. The basement itself was constructed as a bunker during the firebombings of World War Two. In recent years, it was used for earthquakes and other natural disasters. But for the men (and occasional woman) of Ouran, It provided a different purpose.

Namely, the Ouran High School Fight Club, founded by none other than the youngest Otoori. There was a rustling of people as Kyoya walked down the stairs. Thirty or so middle and high schoolers turned to face Kyoya. "Hello, My name is Kyoya Otoori. Most of you know who I am. Some of you envy me. A few of you hate me. But put that aside for now." Kyoya continued his speech:

"Two years ago, I founded this club as an evening excursion for young men sick of the sugarcoat of life that this school offers us, and want to shake it off, even if just for one night. For those who reject the innocence that the school has to offer, and see the true, cruel nature of the world. For those who reminisce of the days of a days work for a days pay, and remember the time where a man's worth depended on the sweat on his back and where he only used what he needed."

"Now," Kyoya continued, "The rules of fight club: first rule is that there is no talking about fight club. The second rule is that THERE IS NO TALKING ABOUT FIGHT CLUB. Right, third rule is..." The rules were being listed: Two people per fight, If someone says "stop" or goes limp, or taps, out the fight is over, no shirt, no shoes, Fights will go on as long as they have to, etc.. "So...anyone`s first time? Asked Kyoya with a smile. A few people clapped and cheered. "Well that`s great to hear. Because the final rule is that if this is your first time at fight club, you have to fight." At this, several students shifted uncomfortably. "But don't worry. I'm going to show you how it's done. Sollux. Get over here, and don't hide behind your...gifts."

The lanky second year threw his shirt aside, took a few paces towards the Otoori, and swung a left hook. Kyoya blocked the blow, and responded with a jab towards the ribs. WHAM. Sollux doubled back, coughing up blood. The Captor made a leaping lunge towards Kyoya`s midsection. Otoori pushed Sollux back. Kyoya took a step towards Sollux. "Nothing personal, Sollux." Box ears. Knee gut. Uppercut. Sollux went sprawling. His body went limp.

"Someone get him to his dorm." A pair of men carried out of the basement. "Anyone else?" A small boy walked up. a hood was over his face. He was fully clothed. "I`ll go." Kyoya smirked. "You wouldn't mind taking that shirt off, would you?"

"You pervert. If you want to fight me, then fight me as I am." Kyoya shrugged. He certainly wasn't expecting the boy to throw a jab in his direction. Kyoya felt a bruise on his outer stomach while clutching his chest. "Beginner's luck, eh-" WHAM. Uppercut._ Black eye. Tamaki is gonna kill me_. SLAM. WHAM. WHAM. WHAM. WHAM. WHAM. Jab after hook after uppercut after kick. And Kyoya was all at the business end of all of them. "Hehehehe...Lemme guess...Honey-sempai? Or some upstart "karate master" who decided to screw with the fight club? Well, I can't say you're doing a bad job of it now-" Wham. Kyoya was coughing up blood. "Alright-it`s-it`s over. STOP." Clearing up blood from his mouth, he walked back up the stairs. He found Haruhi waiting for him at his dorm. She had suitcases under her eyes, curry rice at her side, and a computer she was tapping away at.

"Wait...wha-"

"Big essay. Need to study, and I-wait, wha-Are you BLEEDING?"

"Yeah-uh-no-I mean-uh-I guess?"

"Get over here. Let me get a towel. Jesus."

"I`m fine, and, what about your essay-"

"My essay can wait. My boyfriend who just got into a fight from his stupid "side venture", however, cannot. Why do you that crap anyway?"

"I`ve told you, it`s because I-"

"Stop. Hold still, okay?" Kyoya did so as she dabbed at his bleeding cheek with a wet washcloth. "So, How do you think Tamaki will react?" They still hadn't told the host club formally about their relationship. "Well, Eridan guessed us. It probably won't be long."

"He DOES have Dirk."

"How much will THAT cushion the blow?" Kyoya smirked. "Not by much."

"That a blessing or a curse?"

"A blessing. Tamaki Suoh cares about you. Not easy to do, considering his childhood. But don't worry. He still will look like an idiot."

"When we tell him, can you ask Hikaru to bring popcorn?"

"No problem." Haruhi took a long breath. "Let`s go to sleep."

"But your paper-?"

"Is due in a week, and I'm halfway done with my final draft. Come on." Kyoya followed Haruhi into bed, then flicked the lights off.

_And still we're screaming RIP to everyone we know/The glass is empty but the tears will overflow/And still we`re screaming RIP to everyone we love/Is everyone below us mad at everyone above?_

"MMMFFFF...Reiko, turn it off."

"You do it." Eridan, grumbling, slammed the off button of the alarm clock. "Hey. You OK?"

"Yeah. I-Uh-just wworried about Lobelia an stuff."

"You'll be FINE."

"They come in like, a wweek."

"Come on. You're ERIDAN AMPORA. Don't you dare tell me what you can't do." Reiko grabbed Eridan's scarf, and tied it around him. "Go get em, tiger."

"Thanks." Reiko clapped him on his chest, before they walked out of their dorm.

"NO. Renge, there is no way in hell I'm doing steampunk cosplay." Eridan stumbled tight into an argument between Renge and Tamaki. "WWhat's this about?" Hikaru and Kaoru answered in perfect harmony,: "**Renge and the Boss are arguing about some cosplay. Daddy isn't wanting to get dirty.**"

"Cod, wwhat a crybaby."

"Should they get a bloody room, Strider?"

"I ship it, and I'm Tamaki's boyfriend." Sollux made a small Spade with his hands.

"ERIIIIIIDAN! I'M NOT A CRYBABY! MOMMY! MOMMY!"

"II know. Jeez, it'2 ju2t makeup, that 2hiit never get'2 on couches." Eridan lifted his wand. "Shall I?"

"Be my gue2t." Tamaki found himself at the business end of a wand. "Sorry about this, Tam. _Imperio_." The last thing Tamaki remembered was a very pleasant feeling."So, wwhat about Rits?"

"He brought his motorcycle. We all agreed it would go well with his 'bad boy' image."

"Yeah, howw did he take that?"

"Well enough. He's only signed on for a semester, so he can't find any reason to complain. But there IS one problem with him as a host."

"WWhich one?"

"People are terrified with him. You've heard the rumors, I can guarantee that. That and a complete lack of confidence can mean only one thing; he would make a terrible host under a different set of circumstances. Being the rebellious type was really the one choice he had."

"Yeah. Speakin a rebels, wwhat happened to that eye?" Kyoya shrugged his shoulders, as Eridan stared at Kyoya's black eye. "Should look where I'm going."

"Bull shark. Bull fucking shark, Kyo."

"Believe what you want. Don't you have guests to attend to?" Eridan grabbed his cosplay medallion, and fastened it to his bronze suit, before stalking out. "Rough night at fight club?" Wang Han was butting into the already dead conversation.

"Oh. Hello, Wang. Sorry I couldn't be there at the same time you were."

"I never came. Sorry."

"No problem." Kyoya whipped out his black book, and Wang whipped out his binder. "So, both host clubs have entered in the competition in the performing arts section, which puts us directly against the White Lily League."

"As well as against each other."

"It doesn't have to be that way, strictly speaking. There are other ways we can defeat our common enemy." Wang gave a laugh. "Surely you can't be that competitive, Kyoya."

"I'm not talking about the competition. The fact remains, Mr Han, is that the Zuka club are our ideological and fundamental enemies. You've heard their philosophy, and they bear a greater grudge than usual, with the events of last spring."

"I hope you're right. What would you suggest?"

"We pull our resources together. Become one team. We can share the spoils."

"I will consider it." Code word for _no_.

One week until Lobelia. The joint practice continued. However, both bands played well together, so well that they sounded worse apart. Everybody agreed: to play at their best, the Ouran and Kenran Host Clubs had to collaborate. One more day until Lobelia. Kyoya was more and more aware that there was a greater need to pull their resources together, and saw fit to try to persuade Wang to create a joint host club for the months ahead. "Kyoya, I'm well aware of the Ouran/Lobelia rivalry, and I'm equally happy to say that the Kenran Host Club will not be taking part in that."

Kyoya had enough of this. The exasperated boy began to raise his voice. "Screw the rivalry! If we don't make this merger, then there might be no more host clubs to merge!" Kyoya stopped to catch his breath, before another, a female voice alerted everyone.

"You are right in that, Otoori..." And who should stand behind Kyoya but the White Lily League.

Benio Amakusa. Chizuru Maihara. Hinako Tsuwabuki. And..."Mei!"

"Haruhi! Long time no see!"

"Mei, what have I told you about consorting with such trash as host clubs OR their members?" Mei gave Benio a glare. "And this means very old friends?"

"WWait, Har, you knoww her?" Haruhi. "Boys, meet Mei Yamasura. She was an old friend of mine till I went to Ouran. We met up again after she got lucky in a lottery to join Lobelia."

"HAAAARUHIIII! WHY DID YOU NOT TELL DADDY THIS?!" Various moans and groans from around the room. "Oh cod, not this shit again..."

"You never asked, senpai..."

"WHAT ELSE HAVEN'T YOU TOLD DADDY?" Haruhi looked at Kyoya that to the twins seemed a millisecond too long. Haruhi, however, continued her reunion with Mei. Mei had lost her makeup and her tan, possibly because she had joined the Zuka Club and their hyper-feminist policies. "So, how is Lobelia?"

"Not too bad. I just do sets and costumes. I have no acting talent, thank god, but I'm still seen as part of the club so I have to do everything else for that failure of a club."

"I thought you signed up for that club."

"Apparently that bastard failure of a father decided that for any money to be in my bank account, I would have to join the stupid Zuka club. Funny how that guy decided to grow a pair for once."

"Hey! Be nice." While both of the two old friends were gossiping and chatting, Jean, Benio, Tamaki, and Kyoya were negotiating. "What's this I hear about a joint practice?"

"Yes, Jean and Tamaki were old friends, and we both agreed that it was in both our best interests to collaborate."

"Well, I propose a challenge for both of your respective host clubs. All three of us have entered in the same category in the competition. If we win the competition, The Ouran and Kenran Host Clubs shut down. We can keep you to this promise. We have our ways of punishing you."

"WHAT?"

"Consider it a punishment for keeping us out of the deal. But I will leave it up to you to decide to accept the challenge." Kyoya opened his mouth to object. "Ma'am, as amusing as your little game might be, we are-"

"WE ACCEPT!" Kyoya turned a horrified head as he faced Tamaki. "Tamaki-wha-" Kyoya was at a loss for words. "My apologies, what I MEANT to say was that I-"

"No, No, I believe your associate said it perfectly. Now, I believe we'd best go and prepare. Mei, come along now." After the Zuka club left, the room was silent for what seemed like hours, before Kyoya brought his fist into Tamaki's gut. "YOU IDIOT! What were you thinking? You might have brought down out entire host club because of you. Don't you know how good the Zuka club is? Don't you know, you idiot?"

"I-I-Uh-"

"And don't you know your actions might drive a rift between Ouran and Kenran? Because their host club is going to suffer, too!" Kyoya sat down. _I could just trick him into going to Fight Club..._

Reiko walked down towards the Black Magic club, right after class. She and Eridan had made amends with Nekozawa after the fight that last year. Eridan walked beside her, while recanting the day's events. "So noww wwere pitted against that coddam Lily league, and if they wwin, both out clubs are screwwed."

"You could just join together. It makes sense, no?"

"Wwhale, I guess, but that coddam Chink ain't havvin any a it."

"Well, I suppose I-"_Slam_. Obviously not seeing what the she was doing, Reiko slammed into a slim, petite figure. "Oh! I'm sorry."

"Do you need any-Oh." Eridan's face of helpfulness turned to one of odium as he saw the girl that Reiko knocked over: Chizuru Maihara. "Oh cod. On second thought, let's leavve this piece a filth behind." He was about three meters away when he heard the two girls chatting rather amicably. It was innocent enough, except to a certain Seventeen-year-old. A horrifying idea settled in the pit Eridan's stomach, one he had not felt since the meteor, not since-"No. N-no. Hell no. Eridan, g-get a grip. This isn't meanin shit, right? Because you know that Reiko ain't a-aint't a-"

"Hey. Are you OK?"

"Oh. Oh hey. Yeah. Come on, Let's go...

_Doooo... doooo...doooo...Hello, you've reached the cellphone of Wang Han. I'm not able to call you right now, so just leave your number and I will call you back in-_SLAM. "Listen, Kyoya, you're overthinking this, please just get a grip."

"Fine. One more time." _Dooooo...doooo...doooo... _"What do you want? You've filled up my call history."

"Listen. I know this is hard for you to accept, but we are going to be screwed to the high heavens if we don't join forces. These people are the best non-professional Performing arts troupe between Shanghai and San Fransisco, and as good as we are, we might never match up to them. So unless you want to get your host club eradicated off of the face of the earth, I strongly suggest that-"

"FINE."

"You mean that-"

"Just this once, and if that idiot president does something like that, you can bet that I'm not going to save you-"

"You DO realize that this is for both of us."

"Yes. I do."

"How shall we pull this off?"

"We both take out names off of the competition, then we re-enter as a combined team."

"That won't work."

"Technically, it does. Though Ouran, Kenran, and Lobelia are the main contestants, people from any school can join. I can get one of our number to make a fair hacking job, to make an imaginary fourth school."

"It's not too sorry a plan."

"Thanks. It's a pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Han."

"Likewise, Mr. Otoori."  
"On another note, what is the day of the competition?"

"In about two weeks."

"Thanks." Kyoya put the phone down in its cradle, before finally falling to sleep.

==Child of Light: Dream

_"KYOYA! KYOYA!" A blonde stared down the shadow king. "If you want to-_hack_-Get to Haruhi, get through me first."_

_ "Stand aside, Seer."_

_ "Fat chance."_

_ "Very well, then." Kyoya lunged foreword, his blade drawn, ready to go for her throat. She deflected the blade downwards, but it was too late. A knife ended up lodged in Renge's gut._

_ "K-Kyoya, you-" The last bit of her energy was soon expelled out of her, before she died. "KYOYA!" Haruhi lunged for Kyoya with the butt of her gun. Kyoya whipped the gun out of her grasp before slitting her throat. Tamaki looked with shocked eyes as he spoke up, in the calmest voice he could__:__  
__ "So I have to ask you.__Are you helping us? Or are you sabotaging us?" Kyoya shrugged before slipping his knife back in his holster. __ "__My intent has always been to aid, Tamaki."__  
__ "Even when you killed Haruhi?__  
__ "At least one of us had to get to the next level, and her power is the most useful.__  
__ "Still. You could have told us."__  
__ "It was better this way, Tamaki. You're just sore because I hurt her.__" _

_ "__Yes. I am, but it doesn't change the fact that you took advantage of her trust."__  
__ "Everything moves towards a greater end, thief. The Gods taught me that, even if the individual gets lost in the timeline." Tamaki let out a roar of rage as he held his sword high above his head, ready to end the life of his friend:__ "__I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE GREATER END IF THE PEOPLE I LOVE AREN'T THERE WITH ME!"_

Kyoya awoke with a gasp. "Four thirty in the morning. Kyoya, what's up?"

"N-nothing, Haruhi. Go back to sleep."

"Ok, if you say so." _She doesn't remember. At all._

"H-Haruhi?"

"Yes?"

"Have you been having dreams? Nightmares?"

"No. Why?" _She doesn't even dream about it._ Kyoya's thoughts were interrupted by his vibrating phone.

geminiPrankster[GP] began pestering calculatingExecutive[CE]

GP: Hey there "mommy".

GP: Hey there "mommy".

CE: What do you want, Kaoru?

GP: Hey! I'm hikaru, and I take offence.

GP: Hey! I'm hikaru, and I take offence.

CE: I know you are Kaoru. And I take it the repeating nature of your messages are part of your new quirk?

GP: You got it boss.

GP: You got it boss.

CE: What did you wish to converse with me about?

GP: So, Hikaru and I were wondering: you and Haruhi, huh?

GP: So, Hikaru and I were wondering: you and Haruhi, huh?

CE: Yes, now that I suppose it is out of the bag, I should admit that I have begun a romantic liaison with Miss Fujioka.

On Hikaru and Kaoru's end of the line, two light bulbs went on.

GP: Daddy won't take this well.

GP: Daddy won't take this well.

CE: No, I suppose he won't.

CE: For that reason, please don't tell anyone about this, save for Hikaru.

GP: You got it, Mom. Anything else?

GP: You got it, Mom. Anything else?

CE: Yes. Kaoru, have you or Hikaru been having...dreams? Bad dreams?

GP: Dreams?

GP: Dreams?

GP: No.

GP: No.

CE: Alright. Thanks anyway.

GP: You too, boss.

GP: You too, boss.

geminiPrankster[GP] ceased pestering calculatingExecutive[CE]

"_This is how to be a heartbreaker/ Boys that like a little danger/ We'll get them falling for a stranger, a player/ Screaming 'I lo-lo-love you'." _Dirk turned the microphone off as he sang his last chords. Ritsu put down his drumsticks, and Tamaki put his guitar back on the stand. All ten of the members of the Ouran host club were on board with the idea of merging host cubs for the rest of the tournament, and they had been able to keep it from The Zuka Club. Over the last week, they had been practicing furiously.

"So, Renge, what should we sing for the big day?" The otaku thought for a second, before whispering in Tamaki's ear. "Alright. I like your way of thinking."

The big day had arrived. The schedule of the tournament week had arrived via Kyoya's email. Performing arts was to be the first part of the competition, with athletics two days after. Tamaki noticed that Yasuchika Haninozuka and Satoshi Morinozuka were to be part of the Ouran athletics team, faintly remembering when he had sent Jake to Chika's dorm with an invitation to the host club early in the year and how that was why Jake ended up with three bruised ribs. "That boy certainly hated our club, didn't he?" he mused under his breath as he went to the Ouran Concert hall, guitar case in one hand.

"Welcome, Tamaki. Fashionably late, I see." Benio was at the door. "I hope you don't mind that we've decided to go first."

"Not at all." Tamaki charged ahead to the green room. "Hey boss."

"Hikaru."

"Their performance has just begun. Should we practice?"

"No. Let's just...get settled. Where is our equipment?"

"Already on stage." After a good ten minutes, the Lobelia entry had finished. Overall, they were good, with few slip-ups. The Lobelia students in the audience cheered, as did some of the Kenran students. Tamaki and the other members of the band walked on stage, ad the announcer sounded:

"**And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the Ouran-Kenran Host Club!**" From the green room, the rest of the Zuka Club watched in stunned revulsion. "Ouran-Kenran?"

"They merged?" Back on stage, Ritsu slammed his drumsticks together for the opening number, as Dirk sung the first chords: _"Art thou the feed? Nay, thou art a hunter!"_

_"Our names wwon't be remembered/If wwe die like trampled flowwers/I refuse to be forgotten/WWritten off as less than wworthless:"_

_ "2cream and cry but none wiill hear you/Plead and beg but none wiill help you/You no longer liive a2 cattle/Will you rii2e and joiin the battle?"_

_ "There are beings that live off our fears, and their words are like knives as they play with our lives/They'll try to control you as if they own you; will you let them steal your freedom?"_

_ "Channel the anger swelling inside you/Fighting the bound'ry until you break through /Deep in your soul there's no hesitation, so make yourself the one they all fear!"_

_ "There is a wild fire inside you, Burning desire you can't extinguish/Your crimson arrow rips through the twilight: THIS IS YOUR MOMENT FOR WAR!" _The lights flashed off, before turning on again at the next song. Over the next ten minutes of allowed gig time, they managed to pull it off. Yoshitsuna's bass more than covered the loss of Mori's performance, and Ritsu wasn't half bad on drums. It was a talent, Eridan reasoned, that must have surfaced in yakuza speakeasies.

"This wasn't part of our deal."

"You didn't say it wasn't allowed, though."

"This is breaking our deal."

"Not as such, and we still might lose the bet. You never know until the judges decide."

"You're guaranteed to win. This is the most one-sided tournament in decades, and it's all thanks to you and that stupid chink-"

"It still is very, very, two-sided. Exactly two-sided. It used to be three-sided. And being a feminist gives you very little license to be racist."

"Don't tell me what I can do. You men have too much business with that, anyway." With that, Benio Amakusa stormed off coldly to her limo. "Hmph."

"Hey! Hey! Eridan! Wake up!" Eridan sat up blearily "Wwhat?"

"The judges have made their decision! Come on!"

"Wwhat time is it?" Eridan peered at his Alarm clock. "Elevven thirty?"

"Yeah, students get the day off. Take your time, they don't give out the awards until two." Eridan and Reiko got out of their shared dorm to see many a student in their various uniforms frolicking towards the main auditorium. When they arrived there, the encountered the various judges, Yuruzu Suoh among them. Eridan spent the next two hours flirting with some Kenran girls before a loudspeaker ushered him to his seat.

"As is the tradition, your hosts of the awards ceremony come from the hosting school. May I present your hosts, Tamaki Suoh and Satoshi Morinozuka!" Tamaki, and a tall, spiky, dark haired first year came up on stage. Other than the fact that Satoshi was Mori-Senpai's brother, Eridan knew little about the boy. Satoshi spoke up first: "In first place for athletics, Kenran High School! For second place, Ouran, and Lobelia gets the bronze medal. Could I get a round of applause of for these fine athletes?" Claps and cheers all round. Eridan notched Satoshi's stage presence; clearly, this boy was a host in the making. But Eridan didn't think on that for that long, for Now was Tamaki's turn to present the performing arts awards. Eridan was practically at the edge of his seat, as Tamaki read out the winner on the card: "For first place in performing arts, the combined Ouran-Kenran team, with Lobelia taking second. Could I get some applause for our performers?" Eridan found himself clapping to his own achievement. Not only did they win, they got to keep the host club! Eridan expected the house lights to go on, but not only did the house remain dark, but the superintendent came back on the stage.

"Yes, yes, well, many awards have been given, but you young ladies and gentlemen have been given a rare opportunity. You see, this tournament is not about wining, but cooperating between our schools, and two competing schools have exemplified this on more than one occasion. Ouran and Lobelia have been parties to such cooperating so much so that they have agreed to make a student exchange." Many of the students seemed worried at the prospect.

"Let'2 hope iit ii2n't Haruhii that goe2 to Lobelia," mumbled Sollux to Jake. "Now, these are randomly picked students that will be exchanged. In this bowl," Yuruzu motioned to the bowl on the left, "There are full of Ouran students, all girls, that will go to Lobelia for one semester. Vice versa for the other bowl. I will start with the Lobelia bowl." A card is drawn from the bowl. "Mei Yamasura!" Mei and Haruhi high-fived. "And now for the Ouran bowl:" Yuruzu looked at the small slip of paper:

"Reiko Kanakuzi! Thank you for your patience. I have some transfer paperwork to do." As Yuruzu left the stage, Eridan's heart stopped in his chest. "Hey. ED. You OK?"

"Huh? Oh. Oh yeah, Sol. Just a little flustered, that's all."

"Riiiiight there! Thanks, Sollux." Sollux set down her bag right behind her limo. "Yeah, no prob, Reiko." Sollux looked at her with his blue and hazel eyes. "Hey. I want you to 2tiick wiith ED."

"I will."

"No-II'm 2eariiou2. You've 2een hii2 fla2h driive. You've 2een what he can do."

"I'll be OK." Eridan had just turned the corner. "Hey Sol. Reiko."

"Eridan. It'll be OK. You have my Number. You have my chumhandle. It'll be ok."

"Yeah. Alright. Thanks." A tear rolled down Eridan's cheek as he saw the car go by.

calculatingExecutive[CE] began pestering caligulasAquarium[CA]

CA: hey

CE: Mr Ampora, I'd advice you to warn your friends at Handmaid. Our stocks are going to plummet, by an unknown source.

CA: thats impossible lemme check the stocks on yahoo an ill get back to you

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased pestering calculatingExecutive [CE]

Eridan checked the stocks. Otoori Medical Group. Hitachiin Electronics. Suoh Industries. Haninozuka Loan Bank. All were plummeting. "Wwhat the hell..." He remembered what Dave had told him: _imma haveta pull outa otoori. i mean in three months their stocks are gonna drop like its hot._

_OH COD NO._

==End of Act 1 Act 1


	2. Act 1 Act 2

==Begin Act 1 Act 2

==Be Satoshi

"I honestly don't know what your problem is, Chika."

"If you want to join that den full of fags, be my guest. Just don't come crawling to me when your older brother can beat you in a fight." Satoshi brushed off the other boy as if he was some annoying fly, as he knocked on the door to the third music room. "Oh. Hello there. Satoshi Morinozuka, right?"

"Yes."

"And are you requesting a host?"

"I want to BE one."

"Alright. Let me just shuttle you over to Renge Houshakuji, our manager."

"Yes, thanks." Soon, the big ball of otaku enthusiasm that is Renge Houshakuji burst through the door. "Hi there! I'm Renge Houshakuji. Just call me Renge for now. Let me show you to our testing room." On the way to the chamber, Kyoya accosted Satoshi. "Excuse me. Because of the fact that we are assisted for the most part by school funding, and because of the fact that most of the school is tied to the Suoh fortune, which has been significantly decreased, I've predicted a twenty percent decrease in the salary of the high school hosts. Is that all right?"

"Yeah, sure." The attack on the stocks of several of the student's families had taken their toll. School funding was down, and tuition had increased just to make ends meet from previous years. It was clearly not too good of a time to start being a host.

"So, Satoshi..." Renge pulled up his file from Kyoya's black book. "High school first year. Captain of the Kendo club. Younger brother of Mori-The girls will love that. You don't mind being compared to him, I hope?"

"Uh-no, not at all. I love that guy. I mean-not in that way..." Satoshi began to backpedal as Renge's face began to turn a shade of pink. "No, I'm just joking with you."

"Oh. Well that's a relief." The doors to the testing space swung open to reveal two girls. "Um...Good luck?"

"Thanks." Renge closed the doors in front of her. "Hey, why are they 2tartiing every chapter with 2omebody joiniing the club?"  
"I don't know."

"Hey, by the way, niice 2hiingekii no Kyojiin co2play."

"Oh, you like it?"

"Yeah, iit'2 really awe2ome."

"I made the designs myself."

"Gog, II have 2uch a cool giirlfriiend." The hosts were in full Attack on Titan cosplay, and the fangirls were buzzing. "I could totally see Haruhi as Eren!"

"Is Eridan Jean? Or like a genderbent Mikasa?"

"Kyoya is SO Levi!" The twins were especially using the theme to their advantage. "Don't die on me, Bro!"

"It's alright, Kaoru."

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Sollux took their whole brotherly love act as a grain of salt as he turned to Renge. "2o, how about that new kiid?" Renge raised an eyebrow. "Mori's brother?"

"Yeah, hiim."

"I'll check out the transcript as soon as I'm able. His testing should be almost done." Sollux shrugged, changing the subject. "Yeah, 2o, how ii2 that transfer 2tudent?"

"Tamaki has this idea to invite her to the host club. I don't know how this is going to play off with the Zuka Club, but what can they do?" Sollux felt his thoughts roll to Reiko. "Yeah...what can they do?"

==Meanwhile, at a highly prestigious Tokyo high school...

"God, is there any place to study?" Reiko was told Lobelia had a smaller population of students, but these reports she found to be much unfounded. Lobelia, in terms of space, was MUCH more crowded than Ouran in the main study areas. "I suppose I'll have to go to some other place..." A practice room opened itself up to her. "Just when I need it..." Opening up to her was not ample study space, but a wave of airblasted white Lily petals.

"What?" No one was inside the room, but a collection of desks was off to the side. In her haste to get to the desks, she tipped over a small statuette. It fell over from its pedestal, shattering as it hit the marble floor. _Oh, shit. _"Reparo." No luck. She had read in a book somewhere that the performance of your magical abilities reflects your mental state, and it was beginning to prove itself as right. She was much too stressed over...everything. Eridan had been much more irritable over the last few pesterlogs, some popular girl that she had met at Ouran was trying to be nice, but she was all but an annoyance, and her families stock had taken a downturn. _. _" .Reparo. Goddamnit, reparo!" Footsteps. _Oh, hell no._ "Um, I, Uhhh..."

"Well, well, well, what have we here?"

_Oh god no. _"Listen, I can, uh, fix it, given the right conditions..."

"Oh yes, you can. It wasn't too expensive, but the price was noting to sneeze at." Reiko was resigned to her fate at this point. Renge had once showed her this anime about students that were trapped in their school and had to do the worst things to get out. Reiko could now relate. "So, I have to pay a fine for it?"

"Our expectation is that you can."

"Alright, listen, I don't want my parents to know this." Reiko's head finally centered around an idea she could get behind. "Listen, I can work it off. It's all right. I can do, uh, special effects. Smoke and mirrors, that kind of thing. I can replace your effects team, I promise." A ghost of a grin appeared on Benio's face. "Alright. I don't know how you can move THAT kind of mountain, but I look forward to seeing it."

"And I might be able to fix it, if you give me some time."

"How?"

"I, uh, have my methods, if you give me some time."

"Fine. I don't mind." Beino turned on he heel and waked out of the practice room. Reiko curled up next to the pedestal. "It could be worse."

Eridan had been feeling rather queasy about Reiko, and decided to visit an old friend of his. Eridan never really believed in diviners and the divine. It meant that his fate was in the hands of someone other than himself. Still, he decided to give it a try. Who else was he to turn to? As Eridan walked into the doors of the Black Magic club, he felt the voice of the devil resonate within his bones. "Hello, old friend."

"Nekozawwa."

"What do you want me for?" Eridan felt a surging uncertainty pulse through his body. "WWell, I wwant a divvination."

"As you wish." Nekozawa showed Eridan to a table with a stack of tarot cards. "Would you like anything? Tea? Coffee? Absinthe?"

"WW-no, thank you." The hermit sat down on the chair opposite Eridan. "Surely you wish to know the whereabouts and mental state of your 'mate-sprit' Miss Kanakuzi?"

"Yeah. WWell, no. Just, wwhat's going to happen? To both of us?" The magician Shuffled the cars, and then levitated a hand in front of Eridan. He turned one around. "The high priestess. You will have to make a difficult choice. Both of which will have serious consequences." Another of the cards revealed themselves to Eridan. "The Chariot." Eridan strained himself. "WWhat does that mean?"

"Unions of opposites like the black and white steeds. They pull in different directions, but must be made to go together in one direction." Nekozawa pulled another card. "The tower. A worrysome card. There will be a great upheaval. Something big is happening. Be prepared." Another card: "Justice. You must make adjustments; do whatever is necessary to bring things back into balance. Your relationship with Reiko is rocky, from context, though I might be wrong. You must bring this into balance." The final card: "The star. This means to have hope, I believe. It's a card that predicts hope and healing, even unexpected help to offer us sustenance in bleak times."

"Hope ain't really a thing I'm good at, Nek. But thanks, anywway. An I'vve been thinkin, and I just wwanna forgivve you for the shit that happened last year. WWe wwere both angry, horny, repressed teens, and wwhen you throww science in the mix-just-sorry. An I-" But he was speaking to no one. Nekozawa was gone.

calculatingExecutive[CE] began pestering caligulasAquarium[CA]

CE: Eridan.

CA: yeah wwhat

CE: I expect you at Music Room 3 at Thirteen o'clock on the morrow.

CA: ya mean one oclock

CE: Oh, yes. I forgot your American timekeeping systems.

CA: its ok ill be there.

CE: And I almost forgot that Satoshi got his specialty. He's to be the 'sporty' type.

CA: ren is gettin creativve aint she

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased pestering calculatingExecutive [CE]

==Club Trial: Part one

"Ah. There you are, Eridan." Tamaki beckoned Eridan in the room. "But ma'am, there's no way the Zuka club had any proof of doing it." Eridan heard Hikaru's voice, before Hearing a piercing, high pitched, familiar voice. "WH1L3 TH3R3 1S NO PROOF OF 1T P3R S3, TH3 CULPR1TS DO SHOW SOM3 S1GN OF M4L1C1OUS 1NT3NT. OH H3LLO 3R1D4N, W3 W3R3 W41T1NG FOR YOU." In front of him, Terezi Pyrope's face was displayed via video conferencing.

"Uh, Ter, wwhat are you?"

"Pyrope-san has decided to help us in this class trial."

" SOLLUX C4LL3D M3 1N 4FT3R NOT1C1NG ON3 P4TT3RN W1TH TH3 F4M1L13S 4FF3CT3D BY TH3 STOCK SHUTDOWN: TH3Y W3R3 CONN3CT3D TO 4 M3MB3R OF TH3 HOST CLUB 1N SOM3 W4Y." Eridan took a seat in one of the conference chairs. "SO, COOLK1D MCFOUR3Y3S. WH4T 3X4CTLY D1D SH3 S4Y TO YOU?"

"Um...She said this, exactly," with that, Kyoya turned on his tape recorder.

_ "This wasn't part of our deal."_

_ "You didn't say it wasn't allowed, though."_

_ "This is breaking our deal."_

_ "Not as such, and we still might lose the bet. You never know until the judges decide."_

_ "You're guaranteed to win. This is the most one-sided tournament in decades, and it's all thanks to you and that stupid chink-"_

_ "It still is very, very, two-sided. Exactly two-sided. And being a feminist gives you very little license to be racist."_

_ "Don't tell me what I can do. You men have too much business with that, anyway."_

"You see?" said Hikaru, after a long pause. "Absolutely no evidence to say that they did it!"

_NONSTOP DEBATE!_

"SO PO1NT TO 4NOTH3R CULPR1T! WHO WOULD H4V3 4NYTH1NG TO G41N FROM TH3 D3M1S3 OR TH3 D3ST4B1L1Z1NG OF TH3 HOST CLUB?"

"Are you suggestin revvenge?"

"R3V3NG3? H3H3H3H3H3..."

"Who has a grudge against us? Who would want revenge?"

"**Eclair Tonnere?** Feminist, newly found enemy-she fits the bill-Right?"

"SORE WA CHIGAU YO!" Haruhi held up a small black book. "Tamaki's grandmother's diary. She decided to close ties with Tonnere after the end of last year."

"But she musta used a privvate online security firm to secure her chumhandle. Howw do wwe knoww she didn't use them again?"

"Becau2e we kept tab2 on her after la2t year. There 2eem2 two be rea2on iin the pe2terlog2 2he wanted two do that."

"So that rules her out."

"WWho else?"

"4 COMP3T1TOR? M4YB3 THOS3 K3NR4N BOYS?"

"NO! They can't have done it!"

_NONSTOP DEBATE!_

"Why not, Tamaki? Perhaps you have some PROOF to bring to the table?"

"B-because they are our friends."

"Wang was very reluctant to help us..."

"And he only did it to benefit his own host club, so he DOES see us as rivals..."

"Perhaps he wanted to remind us of that."

"Otoori and Han are **business rivals, so they are a suspect...**" Tamaki made a finger gun in Haruhi's direction. "SORE WA CHIGAU YO! The attack was on all our stocks. No way they wanted to pinpoint one of them."

"What would you suggest, Terezi?"

"1'D SUSP3CT SOM3 1NS1DE H3LP W4S MUCH 4FFOT H3RE. YOUR HOM3WORK 4SSIGNMENT FOR TH3 S3M3ST3R 1S TO 1NT3RV13W YOUR GU3STS. 1T SHOULD3NT B3 TH4T H4RD."

"Thanks, Terezi."

"4LW4YS 4 PL34SUR3."

== A few hours ago, but not many...

"So, you're a host now?"  
"Yeah. It's amazing, right?" Chika and Satoshi were relaxing on the main Ouran courtyard, the bell tower shimmering in the late fall breeze. "I'm sickened."

"What is your problem, Chika? Jealous?" Satoshi nudged his friend playfully, but Chika had none of it. "Yeah, I guess."

"You can join me at the host club at any time, bro. Just give me a shout out-" WHAM. Chika was storming away from his cousin, his hands balled up in fists. "YOU DON'T GET IT, SATOSHI! YOU NEVER DO, YOU-YOU OBLIVIOUS PIECE OF-!"

"What do you mean I never-HEY!" But Chika was long gone. Satoshi could have sworn he saw a fine stream of liquid droplets come from Chika's face. "What's his problem?"

"Sato-chan! Sato-chan!" Satoshi turned around to see one of the girls he had shadowed with. She was a cute thing, with short brown hair and light grey eyes. "Oh, hi! Kimiko, right?"

"Yeah, it's me!"

"So, what's up?"

"C-can I request you tomorrow?"

"Sure!" Kimiko ran off to join her friend, both her and Satoshi unaware that a rain of tears was staining the marble behind a pillar.

==Mei: pester Haruhi

disgustedFashonista [DF] began pestering neutralAttorney [NA]

DF: yo

NA: Hi Mei.

DF: so, I got something in my school email. Somethin about a host club?

NA: Yeah, let me fill you in.

NA: So, just pick a host that you like, and you'll have a private session, free of charge.

NA: Did you have anybody in mind? Because I know you were there before...

DF: i dunno, that Bassist dude looked kinda cute ;)

NA: Kanasoda?

NA: yeah, him.

NA: Alright, I'll tell Kyoya.

DF: Uh...thanks, girl.

NA: No problem.

disgustedFashonista [DF] ceased pestering neutralAttorney [NA]

==AK: Reflect on what you've done.

What did I do?

==Do I have to spell it out for you?

Is it because I made a new ship?

==[Sigh] Yes...

Don't worry, Mr Narrator, all will be revealed...

==Just...this might be painful and shitty, and I

Pain is weakness leaving the body...

==Um, dory boy, you're scaring me...

Good...

== Be Ritsu.

Do I have to?

== Yes. Because Act 1 Act 2 of ANY Ouranbound is jinxed to be lackluster shitfest, let's get this over with.

Alright. One BS Storyline coming up!

"You're not the talkative type." They were at Koishikawa Kōrakuen, an old park in the Bunkyo area. Both of them were leaned up against a tree. "No, I'm not."

"How come?"

"People are afraid of me."

"Why?"

"You wanna know?"

"Yeah. Course."

"Trust me. You don't want to know."

"I want to know!"

"I-I'm a-I'm a yakuza. I'm a gangster."

"So what?" Ritsu took a heavy breath of air from a Japanese maple. "It's not just that. I-I've been born and bred to become a killer." Mei understood. Some liberals saw the yakuza as other industry in which one could make money: Yuruzu Suoh was one such liberal, or so it seemed. "So, you're a mob brat. And?"

"A mob brat set out to be the heir of the Kanasoda-gumi, that is." The most powerful gang in Tokyo, and he was reared to be the boss. "It isn't hard for you to be feared when you were going to be a killer and everyone knows it."

"You know what?"

"What?"

"I'm not afraid of you."

"Really?"

"I'm not. I'm being real here. You don't seem like that bad of a guy, in my honest opinion. And...you're kind of cute." Mei chuckled again as Ritsu blushed a bit. "No, they're scared of me."

"Oh come on! I bet the girls are all over you!" Ritsu laughed as he checked his phone. "Uh, Tamaki told us to get back. You, uh wanna go?"

"Sure." Ritsu gunned his engine, the transfer following him, clutching her arms around him. "You safe back there?"

"Mmm." With a roar from the motorcycle, they sped off back to Ouran.

When they arrived, Tamaki was waiting for them back at the gates. "How was he, Miss?"

"He didn't bite."

"That's great!" The two of them laughed. "Why're all these people obsessed about me biting?" Tamaki turned to the young mobster. "Hey, Ritsu. There's a meeting in Music Room Three."

==Club trial: part two

"So far, none a our guests havve any ides wwho could a perpetrated the attack."

"Maybe the person who had inside help wasn't one of our guests..."

"Unlikely. Out of every fifty girls in the high school, only two would refuse an offer to be a guest at the host club. Sex sells, and we're the next best thing."

"Ritsu, did you get anything out of Mei?"

"No."  
"That's actually alright, but we should still put tabs on her. We can't know for certain if the Zuka club used her an opportunity to gain a foothold into Ouran as revenge for the tournament."

"NOT TRUE." Heads and bodies turned towards Hikaru. "Bro, what's wrong with-"

"It's not true. I don't believe a word of it. They couldn't have done it." Eridan turned his head. "Tell them, Eridan. Don't you agree with me?"

"I'd like to-but no, you're wwrong!"

_MACHINEGUN TALK BATTLE!_

"You don't have the evidence!"

"Innocent until proven guilty!"

"They're still just a suspect!"

"I don't believe you!"

Hikaru began flailing all the evidence of their innocence, the info getting less and less factual, before resorting to more and more outright lies and insults:

"You can't do this!"

"You're wrong!"

"Look at the facts, idiot!"

"I can't believe this!"

**"Hey, look! They had absolutely no reason to attack our stocks, so shut up about them!" **_Check an mate._

"SORE WWA CHIGAU YO! With them feelin cheated about the wwhole affair, they had more than enough reason!" Kyoya turned a suspicious eye to Hikaru. "Perhaps you're unsure of where your loyalties lie?"

"It's not that I want to deny it to throw you off the scent. It's that I don't want to believe it. I don't want to believe that they did it. We have students there. If they-if they have such power that they can take our stocks, and drive them into the ground, and affect the school, then what can they do to the ones we love, who could be in danger there? Are you concerned at all, AMPORA?" Eridan looked at the twin with horror. "No. They wwoulden't do that. Not-not to her."

"Oh? Well last year, I happened to be one of the hosts during Reiko's host hopping days, and we had a friendship. Nothing romantic, simply a platonic relationship. I kept her chumhandle, and I chatted with the yesterday, to see how she was fitting in. Look at this pesterlog."

pranksterGemini [PG] began pestering yandereNecromancer [YN]

PG: Hey Reiko!

PG: Hey Reiko!

YN: Hey Hikaru.

PG: How's Lobelia?

PG: How's Lobelia?

YN: Not too good actually.

PG: Oh? And why would that be?

PG: Oh? And why would that be?

YN: Listen, it's about the zuka club.

YN: They've pressed me into service.

YN: It may or may not be about the fact that I tipped over a statuette.

YN: It's just a small ILM job.

PG: Haha! Don't worry your little head over it. But still, if they give you trouble, then tell me or Eridan about it, kay?

PG: Haha! Don't worry your little head over it. But still, if they give you trouble, then tell me or Eridan about it, kay?

YN: All right.

PG: Cool. Check on you later?

PG: Cool. Check on you later?

YN: Sure. See ya.

pranksterGemini [PG] ceased pestering yandereNecromancer [YN]

"Eridan, do you need a moment?"  
"Yeah-yeah Tam, thanks." Eridan ran full blast out of the music room, tears bleeding from his eyes. "Reiko...wwhy?"

"Uuuuhh, Eridan, How can you be so...crazy sometimes. I swear to god, Hikaru, tell him crap like that again and I will..." Reiko closed her laptop, the last of her energy expended in deflecting Eridan's rage-filled tirade. He had become much more tiresome over the days. Now, she could relate to what Feferi was getting at.

"Boy troubles?" Chizuru Maihara at on the bench next to the girl. "What-oh, hi Chizuru. And yes, it's my mate-I mean, boyfriend." Chizuru shrugged. "Today's practice went well."

"Yeah."

"How do you pull that off, anyway? All the ILM?" Reiko gave the question some pause before giving her answer. "Oh, that? Well, I have my tricks."

"Like-magic?"

"Um...I suppose you could say that."

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Do you want me to take you out to dinner sometime? I'll pay."

"Alright. Do you have a place in mind?"

"I know a place."

"All right. Sure." As the sky grew darker, Reiko felt her spirits lift a bit, and felt happiness for what seemed like the first time.

==Meanwhile, at yet another high-status Tokyo high school

"Hey Sollux!"

"2up Renge?"

"Let's go to dinner, my treat."

"Can iit waiit?"

"Sure, but you can expect that rule 18 Erisol doujinshi to get published~" Sollux strained himself and at breakneck speed, turned his chair around. "Giive me two miiniitue2, dear..." Half an hour later, Sollux found himself at one of the most expensive Katsu places in all of Tokyo. "Hey, Renge?"

"Mmm?"

"What'2 goiing on?"

"What do you mean?"

"II may have the vii2iion twofold, but II don't need that to tell that you're depre2ed."

"What? Everything's alright, it's OK."

"Alriight, II wiill go ahead, forget you ever 2aiid that, and keep giiviing you a hard tiime about iit." Renge pouted under her breath and sighed. "I've been having dreams. About Kyoya, and Haruhi."

"What type of dream2?"

"It's where Kyoya-Kyoya-he-he kills me. And he wants to kill Haruhi. And-and he calls me 'The Seer', and he-"

"Waiit. Diid you 2ay '2eer?'"

"Yeah."

"2eer of what, exactly?"

"I don't know."

After dinner, they headed back to their dorm. Renge slept as Sollux pestered his old friend...

twinArmegeddons [TA] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

TT: Hello, Sollux.

TA: hey ro2e

TT: What did you wish to converse with me about?

TA: iit'2 about my giirlfriiend

TA: and iit'2 not romantic adviice II would have pe2terd KK

TA: 2he'2 been having dream2

TA: about her and two friiend2 at 2chool and one friiend kiill2 her and the other friiend.

TT: Nothing more than a bad dream, I suppose.

TA: and the friend that kiilled her call2 her 'the 2eer'

TT: 'Seer'? As in 'Seer of light'?

TA: yep

TT: Did you share your flash drive with her?

TA: yep

TT: It is possible that she mixed up your memories with her own in her dreams, much like in that film.

TT: What was that film called?

TA: iinceptiion?

TT: Oh, exactly. It most likely would be some figure of her imagination.

TT: But there is a very small, small, chance of an alternative.

TT: Aradia and I have come up with a theory. I call it 'Victory Sharing.'

TT: It's very complicated and convoluted, but it centers around one idea: Our world that we created is populated with other sburb players, and no one is the wiser.

TA: what? how? that'2 iimpo22iible

TT: Not too impossible. For every one sburb session that succeeded, there are at least hundreds of failed sessions.

TA: 2o, how doe2 thii2 work?

TT: It's much too complicated to explain in one simple pesterlog, but Aradia and I have made a document.

TT: Here you are:

TT: Victory

TT: All right. I suppose you go to bed. It's ten thirty Tokyo time.

TA: hey

TA: waiit

TT: Don't let the bedbugs bite.

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering twinArmegeddons [TA]

Sollux curled up into a ball, and fell asleep.

==Child of Hope: dream

_"KYOYA! KYOYA!" A blonde stared down the shadow king. "If you want to-_hack_-Get to Haruhi, get through me first."_

_ "Stand aside, Seer."_

_ "Fat chance."_

_ "Very well, then." Kyoya lunged foreword, his blade drawn, ready to go for her throat. She deflected the blade downwards, but it was too late. A knife ended up lodged in Renge's gut. The last thing that Renge saw was Haruhi's throat being slit..._

"AHHHH!" Renge sat upright like a bolt of lightning. "Oh my god." She looked to her left to find Sollux fast asleep. Carefully, she slipped a pair of pants and a sweater on. _I just need to take a walk. It's only twelve..._

WHAM. Kyoya doubled back. The mystery fighter jabbed at the side of Kyoya's head. The ringing in the ears was so great that the boy could almost hear himself say, "Stop" but apparently, he didn't, as the boy lunged for Kyoya. The Otoori, caught off balance, fell onto the cold, hard, floor. The last thing he felt was a foot slamming him in the face.

calculatingExecutive [CE] began pestering irresistibleLadiesman [IL]

CE: Tamaki...

IL: Hello there, mommy~

CE: I

CE: Need

CE: A

CE: Day

CE: Off

IL: Well, I suppose I can arrange that.

IL: But, Mon ami, it is seven in the morning.

IL: Can it wait?

CE: I broke my nose while, uh, doing some nightime hiking.

CE: It's better now, I just need to deal with the blood and recover.

IL: It can't be helped then.

calculatingExecutive [CE] ceased pestering irresistibleLadiesman [IL]

"So, you know Haruhi, huh?" Ritsu and Mei were eating Curry at some place that Renge had suggested.

"Yeah! We were friends together in middle school. Our dads were part of a tranny support group, and the rest is history."

"So," A smile came to Ritsu's face: "Does he like anyone?"

"You won't believe this."

"I'll believe anything."

"It's Kyoya." Ritsu nearly choked. "Really?" In a small part of the mobster's mind, a small incandescent light flicked on. "I'm not kidding. They got together at the end of last year."

"So, he's gay?"

"You mean she?" The redhead once again almost choked, but it sank in as he regained his composure. "Yeah, well, I entered this year. I'm not in the loop."

"Really?"

"Yeah." The boy suddenly remembered the fact that he needed to get information. "So. Did you hear about that stock crashing?" Mei gave a small laugh. "I'm not an economist, but yeah, I know what you mean."

"Who would do that crap?"

"I don't know."

"Yeah. Me neither." Ritsu played along with Mei's suspected fib. "So...when are you...uh...free?"

"A-anytime. Why?"

"I was-I was just wondering."

"Hey, you're getting rather clammy. Wanna head back?"

"Yeah, sure. Remind me never to get spicy curry again, huh?" Mei laughed all the way back to the motorcycle. As they were driving back, Ritsu felt a certain degree of warmth from her. She had a carefree, relaxed attitude that he was not accustomed to at home, where his servants and contemporaries obeyed him in silent fear. Yet she had such ambition and drive he could see in no other Ouran girl. _ Could I? No, I...nah. _"Impossible."

"What's impossible?"

"Uh, nothing, I was talking to myself."

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I am. Never better." _  
_

"Sato-chan!" Kimiko called at the younger Morinozuka. It was the end of the day, and the host club was closed for business.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm doing fine, thanks." Satoshi continued on. "I'd love to stay and chat, but Chika wants me to practice with him. You are welcome to come, if you like..."

"No, I don't want to be distracting-"

"Don't worry. You won't." Kimiko took Satoshi's arm as the two walked towards the dojo.

"You're late." Chika coldly called from the end of the tatami-lined floor. "I got held up." The younger Haninozuka retained his punishing glare. "It wouldn't have anything to do with the girl behind you, I hope?"

"Huh? No, and besides-" Satoshi checked his watch. "I'm only, like, two minutes late."

"Two minutes is two minutes too many."

"Oh, come on. Whatever, let's start."

"Fine by me." Satoshi took his first stance as Chika counted off the different moves of the form.

== Hours into the future, but not many:

"Thanks for this."

"No, it's my pleasure." Reiko took another sip of apre-dinner tea, the plain, rich, untarnished taste lavishing her throat. "So, what do you think of our school?"

"I like it. It's very...unstiffening. Freer."

"Did you settle the score with that boyfriend of yours?"

"No, it's getting worse."

"Is there anything I can do?  
"N-no, not really."

"Are you ready to go? I've paid the check." The two girls left for the entrance as Chizuru called for her limo. The two ended up sitting on the block on a busy Tokyo street. "Hey, could we talk? Aside from everybody?" Reiko shrugged. "Sure." The two walked to the nearest back alley. The smell of trash and gasoline reached Reiko's nose as Chizuru leaned in...

== Hours into the past, but not many:

"It's aright. Your execution is a bit rusty, but otherwise, you're doing just fine." Satoshi gave a final bow to Chika. "Thank you." Satoshi turned around to Kimiko, who was clapping emphatically. "Could I talk to you, outside?"

"Sure." They walked outside the dojo. The sun was long gone, replaced by an eerie glow. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

==Hours into the future, but not many:

Hikaru was talking in the sweet, fresh, Tokyo air, when he craned his head to admire a small okonomiaki place. It was a small, charming thing, with the storefront selling 'high quality Hiroshima style.' It would have been made prettier without the ugly back alley behind it and the two lesbians snogging at the side. Well, couldn't be helped. It seemed force, however, and there was a struggle. The dark-haired girl wasn't expecting the kiss. Hikaru remained puzzled of the whole affair until a limo pulled up. The two girls entered the limo, and when the twin saw the faces of the girls, his eyes widened. "Oh hell no."

==Hours in the past, bur not many:

Chika changed from his karate uniform to the standard Ouran high school uniform. _Satoshi's almost gone. All's well. _Chika turned around in to dojo to see two lovers kissing through the screen door. Annoyed at the sight, he just resolved to walk by them at a steady pace, without even paying them a glance of his attention. He took one step out of the door, and then another. He looked to his left at the lovers, and wat he saw horrified him. His heart sank to new, unimagined depths. An unseen feminine voice behind Satoshi spoke. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." Chika stormed away, tears running along his face as he held up an arm up to his eyes. He could feel them kissing again. Everything began turning grey as he opened his mouth to sing a tune he had picked up in America:

"_I confess, I messed up, dropped it, I'm sorry/Like you're still around/And I know, you're dressed up, hey kid! You'll never live this moment down/You're just a boy all the girls wanna dance with/And I'm just a boy who had too many chances:" _Chika walked down the halls of Ouran singing under his breath, eventually, the sadness overtook him. "_I'm sleeping on you're folks porch again, dreaming/She said, she said, she said 'Why don't you drop dead?'/I don't blame you for being you/but you can't blame me for hating her/So what are you waiting for? Kiss her, kiss her/I set my clocks early, because I know I'm always late..."_

"I haven't been entirely honest with you."

"How come?"

"I'm not just your host. I-I'm your interrogator. I was tasked to gain your trust." Mei looked at the young mobster. "You can't be serious."

"I am." Mei shrugged. "If you must know, it was them. The zuka club. They were behind the stock crash. They hired a private company to hack into the market. I don't really care if you know or not. It's not like it'll have any consequences later."

"Thank you. Just out of curiosity, why did you tell me? You didn't tell me before."

"I don't know. It just came out like that, you know?"

"Why did you decide to trust me?"

"Like I said, I don't know. I guess it's because you're a nice guy, and I just really don't think that what they're doing is just-just-just I can't deal with it, and the only reason I signed up is because my bullshit father railroaded me into it, and oh my gosh, I'm rambling. Sorry."

"No, it's OK."

"You're a good listener."

"Yeah, better than me being a talker, in which I scare half the people there out of the room."

"Haaaah. Did joining the Host club help?"

"I guess."

"Wanna head back?"  
"Sure."

==Club trial: part three

Back at the music room, the host club reconvened. "I've got something new from Mei."

"Huh. So you got something from her?"

"Considering Mei-san is from Lobelia, this may provide more answers. We can finally break through this quagmire." From a computer screen, Terezi spoke: "WH4T D1D SH3 S4Y?"

"She said that they used a private company to access the market, changing the numbers at ease." Kyoya stepped foreward. "That does make sense. Their manipulative ways, their ruthlessness yet their want for as little collateral damage as possible, their pinpointed targets-this is textbook Zuka club."

"WWhat do you mean, 'textbook', Kyo?" Kyoya pulled out a small black binder, and opened it. "All these host clubs-they were all destroyed in one way or another, but the fact remains-as last-ditch measures, they were taken down via economic methods. Lobelia's last shutdown was performed by having the entire school budget diverted from the school's host club. The club, without school support, shut down after two months. So, by using Occam's razor, which says that the simplest explanation is the best, we can infer that they used economic methods to try to shut us down. Needless to say, it failed."

"Well, I suggest we cast our votes and that's all she wrote."

"I agree."

==W3LCOM3 TO T3R3Z1 PYROP3'S VOT3-TO-S33-WHOM-TH3-SC4MM3R-1S-4-THON!

444444ND 1T LOOKS L1K3...TH3 ZUK4 CLUB 1S TH3 W1NN3R! GOOD JOB! YOU LOS3, ZUK4 CLUB!

"Now, the fact remains: should we tell people?" Kyoya butted in. "I disagree." Eridan remembered what Nekozawa had said.

"Let's put it to a vote." Tamaki went first. "Yes." Next went Hikaru. "Yes." Sollux. "No."

"No?"  
"IIt'll 2et a bad precedent. We're tryiing two mend relatiion2 wiith the Zuka club, not fuckiing wor2en them. IIt'2 liike playing Yu-Gii-Oh two get laid: counter-fuckiing-productive." Kaoru followed Sollux. "I agree with Sollux. Besides, who's to say that they won't do it again to retaliate?"

"I disagree. If wwe expose their deception, then wwe might be able to take them out of business. WWhat say you, Har?"

"I believe it's not our decision to make. I'd like to abstain, if I may." Jake followed suit. "I'm with Haruhi on this one." Satoshi went next.

"I vote yes. I'm appalled that they'd do this, and I think that the school, at least, should know." Next went Dirk. "No." Tamaki turned to Ritsu. "It's all up to you, mon ami."

"I vote...no."

"Well, it's settled. We stay silent. Case closed." Tamaki stood up, his voice trembling in what sounded like defeat. "I agree. Eridan. Hikaru. Satoshi. Come with me."

"Kyoya-Senpai. Wake up." A few days had passed since the club trial. All was well, though a weird rift had developed between the three groups since the trial.

"What do you want, Haruhi?"  
"Read the paper, Kyoya." Kyoya groggily sat up, reading the day's _New York Times International_. A headline caught his eyes on business day that made him nearly scream.

_WHITE LILLY LEAGUE CAUGHT IN STOCK SCAM. _Kyoya groaned at frustration. Tamaki had double-crossed him the whole time.

_THE OURAN HOST CLUB CIVIL WAR HAS BEGUN._

_A house divided cannot stand._

_ -Abraham Lincoln_

==End of Act 1 Act 2

==Sollux: open Victory

Sollux looked at the document in front of him. "Alriight, 2o let'2 2ee what'2 goiing on here..." It was in the format of a journal entry. Sollux began to read:

_From the diaries of Rose Lalonde:_

Today, I encountered a patient in one of my Google therapy hangout sessions with an acute case of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, though she had experienced no such experience in her life. She had dreams of being chased by a large, humanoid black cat, and she also dreamed one of her school friends going insane and killing half her friends, before she had to kill the aforementioned school friend.

These dreams are textbook in some to most PTSD cases, but what makes her unique was the fact that she was constantly referred to as the 'Sylph of Blood', the 'Child of Blood' or simply 'The Sylph'. All these dreams refer to one thing: she had memories of sburb or a sburb-like encounter, though she has no knowledge of such game.

When she heard of the patient, Aradia told me of a theory she heard while in her travels in paradox space: victory sharing. The theory holds that if you lose the game, you can 'load' yourself and your other dead players into a winning session's universe that a winning session created. This clearly is concrete evidence that the patient was a 'victory sharing' player who shared with our successful session.

Aradia gave me the big talk on victory sharing at dinner tonight: In the dreambubbles, they decide which prospective successful session might be good. The minute they choose the session, they are born in random places, but around the same time. None of them know what the game is or the fact that they played it, but one of the players has all the flash drives in their possession, and will remember the game naturally before any of the other players. This person is called the 'sharer'. Flash drives, as your remember, are small device containing the pre-session and session memories of a post-session player.

In the lives of the players, they will not know of the game's existence, but they will have cases of PTSD and dreams (in reality the subdued memories) of the session. When they reach the age they started to play the game, circumstances engineered by the game will make them experience the 'reunion', in which they will all reunite. As high-school aged children usually play the game, they are usually reunited in the same school or university, and will usually bond and become friends. The person with the flash drives may or may not choose to give the flash drives to the other people in the session, but the reunion is usually the only chance for the 'sharer' to do so.


	3. Act 1 Act 3

==Begin Act 1 Act 3 already. I get it.

"Hey. Look. It's her."

"The Zuka whore." Three Ouran high school students stood at the side of the hall, while Mei Yamasura came into view. "Just keep walking..." Mei quickened her pace, but quickly stopped, as the three boys made a triangle around her. "Don't go just yet. We heard of the little stock stunt you pulled with us." Mei remained silent. "Still quiet, huh?"

"What should we do with her?"

"Maybe," said the leader of the three, "We should punish her."

"How would we do that?" one of his inferiors asked. "Maybe we could...strip her of her maidenhood, if you know what I mean." The head boy pushed her against a wall, when someone behind him called out. "Hey, just stop it. Come on, before somebody sees you and you make an ass of yourself." Ritsu appeared out of the nearest stairway, his hand already curling into a fist.

"I'll make it quick, Ritsu-aniki."

"I'll say it one more time. Stop now."

"Fuck y-."

"Can't say I didn't warn you." Ritsu lunged at the boy, slamming his head into the wall next to Mei. The boy's grip slumped as he grabbed his bleeding nose. "Get him!" The two other boys jabbed at him simultaneously, but Ritsu grabbed one boy and crashed him into the fist of the other. The final boy, too weak-willed to make a fight, ran off to class. "How did you..."

"You don't become the most powerful yakuza gang heir without learning a few moves. Come on, I'll take you to class."

It was at the end of a long day. Dirk rang the doorbell to his dorm, with no one to answer. _Weird. Could have sworn that Tamaki left the host club before me. _The Strider proceeded to turn the knob. It opened without a hitch. "Yo, Tamaki, I'm home!" No response. Dirk checked the drawers. Tamaki's uniform and street clothes were gone. The bed was unmade. _Tamaki always makes it, without fail. _One bento was left on the counter. _I make the bentos and leave them for Tamaki and I. I remember taking mine; but-_ On the counter was a slip of paper that was not there before. Dirk saw what looked to be Tamaki's key. "What's this? Sheet music?" Dirk sat on the piano in the third music room. He remembered how he would sing and Tamaki would accompany for the girls. He was never that great at the piano, not as great as his singing. He could at least read sheet music. Putting his fingers to the keys, he started to sing the lyrics.

"_Do you remember/Being nobodies/Discovering nothing/Was not that bad?_

_And do you remember/Feeling that anger/Yet so much love and/ "For what?" You wonder/_

_And now there's no wondering/The wrong nervous muttering/no magic left at all.../_

_But I remember leaning against a backward bent wing/And awakening to feel your touch didn't sting..._ Dirk played on, flipping to another page:

"_I take a breath/And I know I've got to turn to the final page/But is this story/Really done yet/Guess I'm still afraid...  
/But do you remember/Just being honest/Little bright moments/Up in the Sky tree?_

_/Now it takes so much/Work be with you/I'd say that I miss you/But then you'd have to leave/_

_Just two nobodies..._

When Dirk finished the final bar, he felt a tear roll down his cheek. "You break up in weird ways, Tamaki." When he turned around, he swore he could see a flash of golden hair.

yandereNecromancer [YN] began pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]

YN: So. I've read the papers.

CA: yeah me too

CA: fuckin kyo

CA: yeah me an tam kinda bleww the wwhistle on that

YN: Eridan, we need to talk.

CA: yeah shoot

YN: I've been doing some honest thinking.

YN: And I think now that I'm now in the Zuka club, and that were drifting apart,

YN: I think that after the fact that our relationship has gotten impossible with the stock attack,

YN: I think I want to end our matespritship.

_The first stage is denial._

CA: wwoah

CA: holy fuckin

CA: ya mean that

CA: april fools aint for months

YN: Eridan, I'm being serious.

YN: Believe me, I wanted to continue it, but I think it's the best.

CA: come the fuck on

YN: I can't carry on anymore. I'm sorry.

YN: Listen to me; I'll be rational here.

YN: It's partly because I know that they won't let us see each other anymore, and I can't deal with a whole forbidden love thing.

YN: And it's also because of you...

CA: wwoah

CA: i dont knoww if i can handle this i wwasnt expectin this at all

YN: I still really like you, and lord knows I want to!

_The second stage is anger._

CA: you know you sound like

CA: fuckin fef

CA: exactly like her

CA: only wwith less fish puns

CA: fuck it

CA: fine

CA: lets break up and call it a day

YN: You're a good man, Eridan. I know you'll find someone who loves much as I can't.

CA: i knoww you already havve

CA: chizuru maihara right

CA: hik told me

CA: so dont deny it

CA: so go ahead and stick your head in the sand like that

CA: bitch

yandereNecromancer [YN] ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]

_The third stage is bargaining._

CA: come on reiko lets get back together

CA: this is gettin reely scary

CA: come on

CA: ill be good

CA: please

CA: come on

CA: i dont wwanna be alone

CA: please you knoww i hate this

CA: youve seen wwhat i can be like wwhen im alone

_The fourth stage is depression._

CA: you knoww wwhat maybe you are right

CA: im the bigest fuckin idiot wwho evver livved

CA: i stood up to the biggest, most powwerful wwizard in all a japan for ya

CA: nevver wwoulda done that if I kneww this day wwas coming

CA: me

CA: a fuckin ovveremotional brinesucker im not good enough for you i aint good enough for anybody

CA: ANYBODY

CA: all the bodies

yandereNecromancer [YN] began pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]

YN: SHUT UP AND LISTEN FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, YOU OVEREMOTIONAL PRICK!

YN: You just keep adding drama, over and over again with your drama!

YN: I have had it up to here. I can't summon the strength anymore.

YN: You know what? Maybe I was wring about you. Maybe you're still the simpering, whiny hipster you always were.

yandereNecromance [YN] BLOCKED caligulasAquarium [CA]

_The fifth stage is acceptance._

"Hi Chika!" Satoshi remained unaffected by the revealing of the true perpetrators of the stock attack. "What do you want?" Satoshi shrugged his shoulders. "Can't I just talk to my best friend?"

"Fine, even though I probably don't even want to call you a friend."

"What's with that attitude?"

"You figure it out."

"Hey, if you had a crush on Kimiko, I could set you two up, no need to get mad..."

"What popped that piss-poor idea into your head?"

"Well, for starters, you've been this way ever since we've met, and it's been getting worse."

"I-"

"Hey, I didn't mean to hurt you, bro."

"Oh my god, DON'T 'BRO' ME!"

"Woah, I just-"

"And if you think I like that, that SLUT, I-" WHAM. Satoshi's normally calm and happy demeanor turned to one of cold, silent, anger "You do NOT insult her. I don't care if you're my best friend." Chika felt the bruise on his cheek and tasted iron in his mouth. He could have hit the taller boy. He instead slinked down the path back to his dorm. "What the hell is up with him?"

"Hello."

"Hey, AR. The hell were you when I broke up with him?"

"Robo shit."

"Fine."

"Listen, It's not my fault. I'm not some human moi-thing or something or other."

"You could have helped."

"Not my problem. I helped with Jake, and look how that turned out."

"Fuck you."

"Listen, maybe it wasn't because of the stock attack. Maybe it was because he couldn't handle your bull."

"MY BULL? Thanks a bunch."

"Not a problem."

"Anyway, since my shades are the only thing that can keep me sane at this very moment, what the hell do you suggest?"

"I'm out of options. Last year, I suggested you go hetero, and look how that worked. You ended up with the Gayest Gay Who Ever Gayed, and even saved him from Little Miss Bitchqueen. So, I'mma tell you another piece of advice: see that emo kid right round there? The one singing Fall Out Boy off-key? Go chat with him. You might be able to start a little club toget-" But it was too late. The little voice in Dirk's head was switched off.

==Child of Mind: dream

_"Stand aside, Seer."_

_ "Fat chance."_

_ "Very well, then." Kyoya lunged foreword, his blade drawn, ready to go for her throat. She deflected the blade downwards, but it was too late. A knife ended up lodged in Renge's gut. _

_ "K-Kyoya, you-" The last bit of her energy was soon expelled out of her, before she died. Haruhi screamed as she drew her gun. Realizing it was empty, she went for Kyoya, his knife still stuck in Renge's midsection. "Kyoya, that was our friend, you-" Haruhi lunged for Kyoya with the butt of her gun. Kyoya whipped the gun out of her grasp. The last thing Haruhi felt was a sharp pain spreading itself along her neck. Kyoya whispered something in Haruhi's ear. "Goodbye, my Maid..."_

"AAAHH!" Haruhi shot up in her bed.

"Haruhi? Wuzzwrong?"

"Oh god...I...I had a bad dream."

"Oh...what was so bad about it?"

"You killed Renge. A-and then you killed me." Kyoya sat up straight in his bed.

"Did you have dreams like this before?"

"Yeah, lots. Honey once went insane, and he went and killed Mori-senpai, and there was one where the twins were killed by this huge, black, bunny with arms and legs-why?"

"They're dreams, Haruhi. Just very, very, bad dreams..."

"It's so vivid, like they actually happened..." Kyoya sighed sadly. _I missed the reunion. Nothing I can do now._

"I don't know, Jake. It just seems so hard to deal with..."

"We all have our responsibilities, Kanako. If there's a problem between you and him, then I'll try to help, but it's your relationship, and you should be the ones to fix it. I know he's halfway across the world, but you meet up with him every month!" Jake had become Kanako's semi-moirail, and this topic came up in many a discussion. "I don't understand why you can't just be-friends, or something."

"It feels empty. We fight, we have sex, and-"

"Yeah, yeah. That means NOTHING. We've had sex, and even through it was a one-night stand, I can tell that you don't care about him as much as me. And far be it for me to not like this relationship, it's clear you two need each other."

"I don't think he's right for me, Jake. I like him, but I don't think I want to spend my entire life with him."

"If you can't do it for yourself, do it for the infant. If you can't spend the rest of your life with him, then explain the logic of having a child with him. Yes, I thought so, you can't."

"I'm being serious, Jake."

"Yeah? What can you do?"

"I can break the marriage contract, get a divorce." Jake perished the thought from his head

"Don't do that. Think of your baby."

"I still plan to do that come the end of the year, if things don't work out." An exasperated English walked out of the room.

==Why did you do that, dude?

"You talking to me, old chum?"

== No, I'm talking to AK.

Oh, yeah, I did that because I plan to kill Kanako off, and I want at least a bit of background.

== WHAT?

Just kidding. I'm not going to kill Kanako off. This is OURANBOUND. Jeez, the look on your face...

Kyoya was planning something. It was clear he was getting busy. With what, nobody knew. Everybody knew he was planning something big. He needed to spread the word to the right people, and fast. He quickly texted a message to several people, and waited for them to come...

Hikaru arrived at the shared dorm. "Kaoru!" He looked around for some sign of his brother, and found nothing except a small phone. _He must have left his phone here._ On the phone was a pesterlog.

calculatingExecutive [CE] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA], capriciousGangster [CG], geminiPrankster [GP], and timaeusTestified [TT]

CE: Gentlemen, the time has come for us to be united once more. We cannot, may not, allow the strife of Ouran and Lobelia to continue, and therefore, drastic times call for drastic measures. I must call for all of you to join me in my dormitory.

Hikaru's eyes widened. For some reason, this was something he needed to hear. "Kaoru!" Running through the halls, Hikaru finally found his brother about halfway to Kyoya's. "Hikaru."

"Kaoru." The elder Hitachiin pulled out Kaoru's phone. "Perhaps you could explain this?"

"I don't know what it was about, but I know one thing: the message was meant for me and me alone."

"I don't agree." Hikaru sprang at Kaoru, placing him in a headlock. "Let-go-of-me!" Kaoru was losing air fast. Despite is punching and kicking, he started to choke, and then eventually, he blacked out entirely. "I'm sorry, Mage-I mean, Kaoru." He took thirty yen and threw them at the younger twin. "More than you're worth."

Hikaru switched phones with himself and Kaoru, before stepping inside. Inside, he found all the people who voted against spreading the news: Sollux, Kyoya, Dirk, and Ritsu. "Hey, Kaoru, what'2 wiith the bruii2e2?" Hikaru raised a hand to a dark spot on his left cheek. "Uhh, I had a run-in. Nothing serious."

"Right, let's begin. Listen, I know this is crazy, and that no reader will like it, but I think it's the only way we can pull this off."

"2hoot." Kyoya took a deep breath. "I'm thinking of using bombs."

The room was silent. People were staring at Kyoya in silent horror, before erupting in protest. "You can't be serious."

"This is completely throwing all other possibilities out of the window."

"I know, but all possibilities already HAVE been thrown when that idiot best friend of mine blew the whistle on the Zuka club." That shut up everyone. "What do you propose?"

"We bomb both schools."

"Wouldn't that dig a deeper hole?"

"No. I've noticed: no matter how big the feud, when they both experience related disaster, then they will end that feud. Romeo and Juliet? When both of them died, what happened?"

"Uhhh, the famiiliie2 got back together?"

"Exactly!"

"And if it happens in the same timeframe, then there is no assumption that one of our schools did it."

"Fine. What's your plan?" Kyoya slapped blueprints and recipes onto the table. "Anarchii2t cookbook...heavy 2tuff..." Hikaru was shocked. _I need to tell Tamaki this.._

==AND YET ANOTHER ABRUPT SCENE CHANGE! YAY!

Fuck yeah abrupt scene changes.

==AK, I was being sarcastic. Screw you.

You're welcome.

"I'm glad you could take me out, Satoshi."

"Um, No problem. Least I could do." They sat in silence for a few moments. "So, is there anyone special in your life? Besides me, I mean?" Kimiko gave a short laugh. "Actually, that's what my family is famous for. We aren't really good at that sort of thing. We get rejected a lot."

"Aww, how so?"

"Well first, before the host club started, I was a middle school first year, and I had the unfortunate luck of falling in love with Hikaru."

"Why is that unfortunate? They're nice guys."

"Except before the host club, they were shut-ins who only had each other for company. So when I gave him the love letter, I slipped it in Kaoru's desk by accident. Hikaru, pretending to be Kaoru, ended up 'confessing' to me, and I said yes, but it was a cruel prank, and I was rejected. Oh yeah, and then last year, if my elder sister wasn't rejected by Mori-senpai, then we could have been in-laws."

"So that was your older sister!"

"Yeah."

"Well, I hope I can end that tradition." Kimiko giggled at the thought. "Come on!"

"It's possible. Come on, if you're ready, I can take you home or my place~" The glow of the day was gone, replaced by the blue of a dark sea. Another boy was sitting outside Satoshi's dorm. "Thought you'd come by." A voice peered out from out of the darkness. "What'cha doin?"

"Be quiet! What's your name, anyway-Strider, isn't it?"

"Hey, I'mma have to ask you to, um, get away from here. Satoshi asked me to talk to you. Or maybe I'm just interested."

"No." Dirk sat down next to the boy. "Hey, you're Honey's bro, right?"

"And if I am?"

"Just making a connection. So, whatcha doing around here?"

"Go away."

"Why? Can't I make conversation?" Chika shrugged. "Fine, I suppose."

"Can you answer my first question?

"Why are you being difficult?"

"I'm not being difficult, I'm just asking." Chika remained silent. "Come on, why can't you just leave those two lovebirds alone?"

"I'm jealous."

"Well then, you missed your chance. Better luck next time. And besides, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and Kimiko might make a GREAT cousin in law..."

"Leave me ALONE."

"No, I'd consider this an unhealthy attraction, and there's obviously something you have to get off of your chest, right? Add a bunch of aggression, and a bunch of hormones, and you're out for blood." Chika kept his lips pursed. "I'll make this easy on you. Say you're in their room, with them. What would you do?"

"I told you, I don't know."

"Hurt them? Scare them? Make an ass out of yourself?" Dirk sighed. "Listen, I'm not the best person to talk to about this thing. You got a chumhandle?"

"Yes."

"I got a friend in New York. His chumhandle is carcinoGeneticist. He's a bit short-tempered, but he's the best guy I know for that kinda stuff you have goin on." With that, Dirk walked away, leaving Chika moony and with a stranger's chumhandle.

"Let me get this straight. Otoori plans to BOMB the school?"

"Both schools, yeah."

"Fuck. WWho else?"

"Sollux, Ritsu, Dirk...everyone who voted to keep quiet."

"At the same time, we can't alert the school. That would start a red scare of mass proportions, and while we need to find a way to fight against them, we can't start something massive."

"So howw-?"

"By tracking their movements. By now, Kaoru would have alerted Kyoya, so we know they're onto us." Back at Kyoya's dorm, the place had been turned into a bomb factory. A blissfully unaware Haruhi, unable to keep up with the noise, had moved back into her own dorm. "Hey Kyoya!" Dirk called back to the Otoori from the bathroom. He had taken a ninety-eight percent concentration of fuming nitric acid and added the acid to three times that amount of sulfuric acid in an ice bath. "I'm ready for the glycerin!" Sollux brought the eye dropper over, and put the glycerin in. "Alriight. Ladiie2 and gent2, niitroglyceriin."

Dirk grabbed the paraffin tin, and mixed the nitroglycerin into the paraffin. "Alright. We've got our plastic explosive material. All that's left is for the detonator and we're done." Meanwhile, Ritsu and Kyoya were planning the bomb strategy. "Alright, let's plan them around the emergency exits. Both Ouran and Lobelia have similar emergency routes. They are divided into rendezvous points, when the students meet up in different groups, first in classes within the pedigrees, then the pedigrees within the grade, then the entire grade, then the school section, then the entire school. I think we should place one bomb at a random point in the school, and then place bombs at each rendezvous point, as well as put hidden bombs with delayed hidden charges at random places."

"Wait, I thought this was just a scare."

"Nope."

"You're going to hurt people."

"Yes, I am, and it's a risk we have to take."

"Just...give us some time to warn the others. Haruhi, Renge..."

"I know. But how sure are you that they won't tell the authorities? Might I remind you that we are doing something highly illegal, that, if discovered, will surely lead to all of us in jail for the rest of our lives?" Ritsu gave a glare. "You realize that none of these people will forgive you if you let the people they love die, right?"

"I know that better than anyone. It's a risk I have to take."

"And you realize you will never forgive yourself if you let yourself do the same?" Kyoya remained silent. "I hurt Mei by blowing the whistle on the Zuka club, and I don't want to hurt her again-"

"Don't blame yourself on that. She decided to blow the whistle, not you. She hurt herself."

"I still won't hurt her."

"So be it, but don't blame me when you're locked up like the yakuza slime you are."

"Hik."

"Eridan?"

"Can I borroww ya cell?"

"Um...Sure."

pranksterGemini [PG] began pestering yandereNecromancer [YN]

YN: Hikaru?  
PG: hey reiko

YN: Hikaru, you're not using your quirk.

PG: wwhale yeah

YN: Oh god. What do you want, Ampora?

PG: listfin kyo is goin to bloww lobelia to kingdom come

YN: What?

PG: you heard me

YN: why dont i believe you

PG: youre goin to die if you dont followw my advvice

PG: get the hell outa dodge and

YN: Go to Ouran?

PG: no

PG: fuck no

PG: get out of tokyo and use a summer home or somefin until it calms dowwn

PG: come on please

YN: Sorry, Eridan.

PG: come on

YN: I don't believe you.

YN: I can't!

YN: It's just...so unbelievable.

PG: you havve to believve me

YN: Sorry.

PG: NO  
PG: YOURE GONNA DIE

PG: REIKO

yandereNecromancer [YN] ceased pestering pranksterGemini [PG]

Eridan glumly handed the phone back to Hikaru. "What?"  
"She didn't believve me."

capriciousGangster [CG] began pestering disgustedFashionista [DF]

CG: mei.

DF: Hey, Ritsu, what's going on?  
CG: you have to get out of the city. tonight.

DF: Why, whats goin on?

CG: some serious shit is goin down, and I don't want you near it.

CG: I'll get a limo to take you to the shinkansen station, and then take it all the way to Kagoshima. Take a cab to my summer place, and come back when the shit dies down.

DF: Um...what is going on?

CG: you'll find out tomorrow.

capriciousGangster [CG] began pestering disgustedFashionista [DF]

An hour later, Ritsu watched Mei's car go off in the distance to the station. "Did you get her to safety?" Ritsu whipped around, slamming his unknown stranger into the wall. "Kyoya."

"Would you let me go?"

"Why should I, you piece of slime?"

"We've got final preparations to do." Ritsu hit Kyoya across the face, before releasing him. "Trash." Kyoya smirked as Ritsu paced away.

Ritsu and Kyoya arrived at the basement. "Gentlemen." Sollux put down a curious bag. "What's that, Sollux?"

"We were goiing two have diiner. Here. La2t meal, II gue22?"

"It's smart of you. May I?"

"No, iit'2 alriight." Kyoya sat at the long table that Kaoru and Dirk had set up. "Yeah, II only got one bread loaf. 2orry."

"No problem." Kyoya passed around the bread to each person. "All we have is some wine."

"May I?"

"2ure." Kyoya took the wine bottle and filled each paper cup with the shimmering liquid. "Let'2 eat."

"Kyoya." The Otoori sat up. "It's time." Kyoya turned on the lights in their basement; Kaoru booted the camera feeds and the computers. The big clock on the wall read seven thirty. They agreed to leave at eight. "Say your prayers gentlemen, and prepare your consciences. What you will do today neither you nor the world will forget." Dirk and Sollux put their bombs in handbags. "Get ready." It was agreed that Dirk would set the explosives in Ouran, and Sollux in Lobelia. "Ready for this?"  
"Yep. Hey. Do me a favor."

"What's that?"

"IIf you fiind Renge, keep her 2afe, OK?"

"Will do." Sollux flew off in one direction, and Dirk ran off in another. "Lobelia is on the other side of town. The trip will take plenty of time."

"Thank'2." Kyoya and Ritsu looked off in the Distance. "What have we done?"

"NEK! NEK! WWAKE UP!" A sleepy wizard answered the door. "What do you want, Eridan?"

"Wwe havve to go to Lobelia. Today."

"Why?"

"I'll explain on the way."

"No. Tell me now." Eridan began to shake Nekozawa. "REIKO. BOMBS. LOBELIA." Nekozawa opened his eyes under his hood. "I'll get ready."

"I'll explain more on our way."

"Alright, First bomb..." Kyoya's voice crackled in Dirk's ear. "Great job, line up the bombs in the predetermined course like we practiced."

"Great."

"Jake!"

"Allo, Satoshi? What's this Hullabaloo about a bomb?"

"Listen to me: people are going to die. We need to find the bomber and take him out. We think it's Dirk, but keep vigilant."

"Alright." Jake whipped out his pistol, and ran down the hallway, while Satoshi went down another way. "Strider! Strider, stop! For the love of god, END THIS BLOODY CHARADE!"

"So what you're saying is that Kyoya is going to bomb Lobelia and Ouran?"

"Yeah. Wwhat wwe need to do is to wwarn Reiko, and then get back as fast as we can."

"Hey." Nekozawa looked at a small blue and red-laced dark object. "That's Sol. Get him!" The two lunged for the single speck in the distance...

== A few hundred meters north...

Sollux felt a small change in air pressure on his skin. "What the fuck?" He heard something head toward him. Afraid of being found by a plane perhaps, he turned around, and found two black and white dots getting ever so closer towards him. "Oh HELL no." They were just about thirty yards away, when Sollux raised his arms: BOOM. The bag full of bombs remained intact behind the psionic shield. "ED!"

WHAM. That blast hit home. _2ome fuckiing iinvii2iisiibliity piiece of 2hiit... _Sollux released a wave of energy, revealing Eridan and Nekozawa. "Oh fuck thii2. Go, ahead, warn Reiiko, but II'm not goiing two 2top..."

"Stop, Sol. This ain't gonna end wwell, an people are going to die..."

"IIt'2 all for the greater good, ED."

"Fuck that. I don't care about the greater good, if the people I lovve ain't wwith me."

"Fuck thii2." Sollux let loose with a large optic blast, but was pushed back a large shield pushed back from Eridan's wand. The shield grew more convex, encircling Sollux, eventually trapping him in a ball. Sollux felt a small stream of energy emitting from the wand, and sent a large pulse of psionic energy. It ran back through the wand stream, to the wand, to Eridan, who lead out a roar of pain as he flew back through the air. "IIt'2 been a long tiime 2iince we've fought, ED."

"But it's in my favvor."

"Huh?" An unseen Nekozawa had created a smoke cloud, encircling Sollux, blinding the boy in smoke. Eridan aimed his wand at the cloud, before expelling a huge ray of energy. Sollux was blow back a few hundred yards in the air, in constant free-fall. "OH FUCK!" Sollux stopped to imprison his foes in a fine psionic bond, before calling a storm cloud terrorizing Nagoya over to them. "And now for my next triick..." He flew up to the cloud, creating an electric current. "Come on...come on...come on..." Sparks flew in the cloud. Sollux's hair stood on end. "OUR DORM BA2EMENT, ED! THAT'2 WHERE YOU'LL FIIND ME!" _Tiime two release..._Sollux threw down lightning at the two wizards. They fell down into the city below. "That wa2 a 2hockiing conclu2iion." Sollux flew towards the heavens, nearing his target.

Landing about a city block away from the school, Sollux dusted himself off. "Lobelia, huh?" Nearing the school, he was accosted by two of the students. "Who are you?"

"Uhhh, John Egbert. II'm here two deliiver a package two a mii22 Beniio Amakuza." Sollux showed the girls his messenger bag. "I will deliver the package."

"2orry lady, II't2 confiidentiial. Can't rii2k 2omeone iinterceptiing iit."

"Very well. Sakura, Kira, take this man to her mailbox, and then escort him right back here." At her cue, two girls, one with a chain, one with a katana. "Niice 2ecuriity outfiit."

"It's a necessity, Mr Egbert. We are a part of the Lady Benibara Fan Club designed to protect the maidens of Lobelia at any cost."

"Oh. II 2ee." _Why don't we have that? _ They escorted Sollux to a small postal drop box. Sollux slipped the first bomb into the drop box. "Excuse me, we have to go." Kira gripped her chair anxiously. _II've got to get them off my tail...II've got iit! _Sollux grabbed his wallet, and slowly chucked it behind him. "Sir? You dropped your wallet..." Sakura peered into the wallet, and saw nothing other than the student ID of Sollux Captor. "HE'S AN OURAN HOST! GET HIM!" Kira lunged with her chain. Sollux caught it, running a few thousand volts through it, leaving the first girl unconscious. "Your turn." Sakura sprang forward with her sword. Sollux caught it by the hilt, and twisted the girl around, holding her in his arms while having her sword to her throat. "2orry about thii2, my priice22..." With all his might, he hit her on the head with the handle of the katana. "Fuck, fuck, FUCK. What do I do now?" Sollux started by overloading all the circuits of the cameras. Following that, he hid the unconscious bodies. "Keep goiing accordiing two plan, II 2uppo2e."

golgolthiasTerror [GT] began pestering neutralAttorney [NA]

GT: Haruhi!

NA: What's going on, Jake?  
GT: Haven't you heard? Bloody strider is going to blow this place to kingdom come!

NA: You can't be serious.

GT: I AM.

NA: All right. Where do we start?

GT: Don't warn anyone. Don't tell anyone. Just...get out of there.

NA: Is the anything I can do to help?

GT: Actually, yes. FIND THAT BLOND IDIOT, and keep him out of commission!

NA: OK.

golgolthiasTerror [GT] ceased pestering neutralAttorney [NA]

Dirk had already finished planting the bombs, ready to head back to safety for phase two. "When Sollux gets back, we'll begin." Dirk ran towards the basement, when suddenly, a mysterious figure in student garb, a katana and a ski mask confronted him. "Stand aside."

"Never!" _That voice...could it be? _"Listen, I'm armed, and I know how to use it. Stand down, and let me pass."

"NO!" With a sigh, Dirk ran for the man, his elbow in place to strike-BAM. The mystery man clutched his stomach in pain. "_Merde..._" Dirk struck again with the hilt of his weapon, this time on the head, and now the man was down for the count, knocked over unconscious, with only his pride damaged. _All right, let's take a good look at you-_

Dirk almost let out a scream as he tasted his own puke in his mouth. _Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuckfuckfuckfuck._ "Goddamnit, Tamaki!"

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering calculatingExecutive [CE]

TT: Kyoya.

CE: Dirk, what's the hold up?

TT: Tamaki attacked me. Had to knock him out too.

CE: Oh, hell. Now you have to hide the body and deal with that.

TT: More like 'Oh Hell, one of my people knocked out my best fucking friend'.

CE: He is no friend of mine.

TT: Fuck you. Do you care about no one?

TT: You pitted me against my boyfriend.

CE: He's not your boyfriend. He broke up with you, right?

TT: Screw you.

TT: After this, no more. I'm not working for you anymore.

CE: Fine, I'm gradating this year anyway, you won't have to.

TT: Still. Fuck you.

CE: Just get back to the basement. I'll talk to you later.

TT: Asshole.

timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering calculatingExecutive [CE]

Dirk walked away from the unconscious body, going to the basement of the Ouran Fight Club, not expecting Haruhi to go to the body later. "Senpai? Senpai?" Haruhi began the uncomfortable, uphill battle of carrying Tamaki's unconscious body to her dorm. "Come on, senpai, wake up!"

She didn't see the first bomb coming from a mile away.

_I have become death, the destroyer of worlds..._

-Robert J. Oppenheimer, upon detonating the atomic bomb at Trinity

==End of Act 1 Act 3

==End of Act 1


	4. Act 2 Act 1 Intermission 1

==Begin Act 2

==Begin Act 2 Act 1

==Being Act 2 Act 1 Intermission 1

_ Haruhi was sitting in her desk in elementary school, when her father and the principal walked through the door. "Haruhi? Could you come with us?" The little girl bounded to the principal's office. She was sitting there for as long as she could remember, as her father and the principal talked. Finally, her father walked out, followed by her principal. "I'm very sorry for your distress, Mr. Fujioka."_

_ "No, not at all, I'm just worried for Haruhi..." The man knelt at Haruhi's feet. "Hi."_

_ "Why are you here, Daddy?" Ranka looked sad. "Mommy's sick. Very sick."_

_ "Will she get better?" Haruhi's father looked at the principal, then back at Haruhi. "No, I don't think so. But her boss is taking very good care of her."_

_ "Are we going to visit her?"_

_ "Yes." Ranka allowed her to sit in the passenger seat. When he mistakenly referred to Haruhi as 'Kotoko,' he nearly crashed, as his eyes were blotted out with tears. When they went arrived her ward at Otoori Central Hospital, Kotoko was on her last legs. She was hooked to a gas mask and an IV drip, surrounded by Otoori executives. "Haruhi!"_

_ "Mommy!"_

_ "Come here and give your mommy a hug..." She died with her baby girl in her arms._

_ God was playing a cruel joke when he made it shine on Haruhi's mother's funeral. Yoshio was there, his family was there. It was no PR stunt. The man liked and respected his legal head. Ranka was at the burial site. Several law school friends. But Haruhi was not there, not at the burial site. She was silently mourning her mother's passing on a bench. Suddenly, another figure sat down on the bench next to her. "Hello. Do you mind?"_

_ "No." A jet-black haired boy around Haruhi's age sat next to her. "Hi. I'm Kyoya."_

_ "I'm Haruhi."_

_ "Why aren't you there with the others?"_

_ "I don't know. I guess that I find it boring."_

_ "But-that's your mother they're burying! Don't you want to say your final goodbyes?" Haruhi smiled. "But-I don't want to."_

_ "Do you mind if I come with you?"_

_ "No." Holding hands, the two children walked to say their final farewells._

_ Years passed before Haruhi and her father got that first summons. A limo pulled up to her house, and a tall, bespectacled, dark haired boy not Haruhi's age walked up the steps to her complex. "Hello. Is a Miss Fujioka in the house?"_

_ "Why yes, young man..."_

_ "I see...her mother once worked for us before her untimely passing, so I took the liberty to come and speak to her personally."_

_ "Why, you're so kind...Haruhi! Someone to see you!" A long-haired brunette in a schoolgirl uniform walked into the room. "Excuse me...Haruhi, isn't it?" Haruhi walked out of the doorway, and Kyoya began to remember her. He remembered her from somewhere, but he didn't know when, exactly._

_ "Yes."_

_ "I think I know you from before, but I can't place when."_

_ "Likewise." The boy leaned in. "Haruhi, I've got good news. You've passed the Ouran placement exam. You are the first commoner to attend Ouran." Haruhi gave a small scream of celebration. "I'd like to take you to Ouran tomorrow for paperwork, if I may."_

_ "Oh yes! Thank you!" Haruhi ran into her father's room to tell him the good news. She didn't see the boy leave._

_ Flashes of life went before her eyes. Her breaking the vase. The final four hosts that joined. Tamaki's rescue. Kyoya's confession. The blast of air that punched her stomach as she carried Tamaki's lifeless body to her dorm. _

"HARUHI!" Jake approached her lifeless corpse. "Are you all right?" She was silent. "WAKE UP!" She remained lifeless. There seemed like nothing Jake could do. "I'll-I'll take you to safety!" _The infirmary._ He silently slipped her into his still-functional sylladex, and moved out. Another bomb sounded. "Shit...I hope it's all right out there." He pulled Haruhi out of his sylladex while no one was looking, and he looked into the infirmary, where a ghastly sight reached his eyes. People were hurt, if not dying. The clicking of phone buttons and the screams of Ouran students could be heard. "Excuse me!" A nurse took over for him and placed Haruhi on a cot.

"Is this from the first bomb?"

"People were also injured from falling rubble. There also seem to be hidden bombs around the place, so we're also getting shrapnel patients."

"Can you help?"

"No. I'll find more victims."  
"Stay here!"

"NO! Who knows might be dead or dying or maimed?"

"Fine, go." Jake ran up to the third year classes. "Does anyone need medical treatment? Is anyone hurt?" Jake looked around, and his moth opened wide. He saw a girl who had a trail of blood coming from her mouth. He knew her. He had loved her. Jake English saw the battered, lifeless, bloody, corpse of Kanako Kasugazaki.

==Jake: Be Past Chika.

Chika thought the 'carcinoGeneticist' guy was full of shit. He was as vengeful and full of rage as he would ever be. So when the alarm bell rang, the opportunity made itself clear, he stalked over to her classroom. She wasn't there. He found her running away in the hallways. "Kimiko?" Putting on a false smile and aura of warmth, he went for her. "Why aren't you at the rendezvous point?"

"I could ask the same of you, Kimiko-chan." He walked towards her, noticing that she had something behind her back. "What's that?"

"N-nothing." It wasn't 'nothing'. Kitchen knives don't look like 'nothing'.

"OW! G-god, you BITCH, you, you-WHORE..." She was running away fast, disappearing into a room. "Come on." He was loosing blood. Gritting his teeth, he put some pressure on the wound. It wasn't hard to find her in the room. "WHY? WHY CAN'T YOU GET OVER HIM? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW US SO MUCH? WHY MUST YOU STALK US?"

Chika walked towards her. "ME AND SATOSHI ARE HAPPY! WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE US ALONE?" Chika was deaf to this. Chika was deaf to her screaming. After a short struggle, she was on the ground, presumably dead. Chika couldn't tell. Unexpectedly, he started to cry while standing over her body. "Why, Kimiko? Why couldn't YOU just leave us alone?" He felt the eyes of sleep heavy themselves over him. He was losing quite a lot of blood...

Satoshi heard the first explosion, and what it seemed like a girl's scream. _I've got to find Kimiko and Chika and head to the rendezvous! _Escaping the line to the pedigree group_,_ Satoshi found them in the third music room, and what he saw and heard felt off. "Chika?" Chika was bleeding on the ground, a fine puddle collecting around him and-Shit. Kimiko, right next to him, was not bleeding, but was knocked out, and she seemed like she had trouble breathing. A large knife was next to her. It wasn't hard to see what happened to them. However, it was nothing compared to the ticking noise in his ear. "What?" After a quick investigation, he found the ticking behind a pedestal. "Let's see what's behind-HOSHIT!" A bomb was counting down. Thirty seconds. Satoshi made a calculation. He could only carry one of them at one time out of the room, and he couldn't go back, as the bomb would blow up, trapping the other person inside the room, and they would burn from the fumes made from the bomb. If he DID carry both of them in the room, he would surely burn up with the bomb. "Fuck it. Let's go. He carried Chika with one arm, and Kimiko with the other. Fifteen seconds. "Come on." If he didn't make it, he would surely die here, with the people he cared most. Ten seconds, and three quarters to the door. "I won't get them through the door in time." Five seconds. Three seconds. Satoshi used the last of his strength to throw both of them clear of the bomb. He swore as the clock read one second, and smiled as the bomb blew him clear across the hall.

==Satoshi: be Jake

"Come on, Kanako! Don't die on me!" He thought he felt a surge of hope as she fluttered her eyes open. "Yes, yes, oh god yes!" She smiled. "You're going to do this! You can do it, Kanako! I'll get you to the infirmary, I'll get you to the hospital, Just pull through this!"

"Sorry...Jake...it's all right now...I'm on my way...I'm on my way."

"NO! No, you don't mean that, you don't mean that at all, just stay with me, please!"

"Now...I don't have to choose between you...and when it's your time...and Toru's time...We can all be happy."

"Shut up!" Kanako coughed up some blood, the plasma staining her yellow dress. "It's all right...Even though I regret...Sometimes, I wanted to marry you instead of him..." Jake kept making futile lies, attempting to calm not only Kanako, but also himself.

"No, you don't. You don't want to marry me. Listen, this is what's going to happen. Your husband is going to come here from England, and come right here, and-and you're going to make up, and-" He was cut of with a kiss from her. With that, she closed her eyes for the last time. "No. No, no, no." He faced the crowd of students walking through to go to the rendezvous point. THIS WOMAN NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION! GET HER TO THE INFIRMARY! I NEED HELP! PLEASE!" Two students took her away, while another two escorted Jake elsewhere. At first, he resisted, then, as her death sank in, he just nodded his head and came quietly. "I'm so sorry, Kanako..." But those words remained in the corporeal world. She was dead.

_A five-year-old girl plays in her garden, attended by maids who watch her play, but is interrupted. Her father, whom she never sees, comes out of a doorway, accompanied by one of his work friends, and a small boy around her age. The woman whispers to the boy, who runs up to her. "I'm Toru Suzushima."_

_ "I'm Kanako Kasugazaki." They shook hands, and the boy joined her in play, blissfully unaware that that day was part of a much grander scheme at hand._

_ "Look at these, Kanako." The ten-year-old couple was admiring some vintage teacups at Toru's house. "They look amazing!"_

_ "A Wedgewood, a Foley, a Worcester..." The boy looked up to see his 'girlfriend' admiring the cups with such passion. "I'll show you them all when we marry. Alright?"_

_ "Thank you." They walked away, Toru having a much larger stride. Kanako caught his arm. "Toru-kun!"_

_ "What?"_

_ "I love you." The boy was taken aback at the remark. "I-I love you too." Toru leaned foreword, and kissed the girl on her forehead._

_ "Toru!" Kanako approached her fiancée. It was the day after their Middle School Graduation. He was packing for what looked like a long trip. "Where are you going?"_

_ "England. I've decided to do a few semesters abroad there. I'll come back, don't you worry."_

_ "Are you joking?" The boy raised an eyebrow. "No, why would I?"  
"Why did you never tell me?"_

_ "It never came up." The girl ran out of the room, making what seemed like sobbing sounds.. "Well, goodbye, then!"_

_ "...Bye."_

_ Then there was the painful bliss-free summer where he was gone, working or studying. They never saw each other. It was like they weren't in love anymore. She sat on the bed where they had even tried to make love once, for days at one time, and despaired. _

_ Before she knew it, Kanako felt herself wake up as the sunlight blinded her face. Jake was already up, making coffee from his kitchenette. "How was it?"_

_ "Huh? Oh, it was great, last night."_

_ "You seem troubled."_

_ "That's because you're already spoken for."_

_ "You could have just said no, dear."  
"I couldn't have. A host's job is to make girls happy, right?" Jake sat his coffee on the table, as he began to kiss Kanako and whisper sweet nothings into her ear._

_Haruhi woke up in a strange place. It was all white, and she felt...at peace. "Where am I?" She remembered the bomb. "Oh, right. I'm dead..." She sighed. It was a good seventeen year run..."Not exactly, Haruhi." A familiar, warm, voice piqued her attention. "MOM!" Kotoko Fujioka smiled. "Yes, it's me." Haruhi remembered something she said when she entered Ouran. "How is it in heaven, Mom?"_

_ "It's alright. How is it back down there, Haruhi?"_

_ "It's not to bad." Kotoko grinned. "How's Kyoya?"_

_ "Um..." Haruhi never would have guessed that one of the first topics upon reuniting with her mother would be boy talk. "He's...great. Mom, what did you mean about me not being dead?"_

_ "See, Haruhi, death is a choice. Many people choose death out of heartbreak, selfishness, or just by the fact that they've done their part, and it's time. You see, death is the greatest reward one can have after a long and productive life."_

_ "Should I pick death?"_

_ "But you'd be missing out of a lot. You'd miss out on graduation. You wouldn't be there at the weddings all your friends will have; and you can certainly forget college." Haruhi froze. "But I'd be problem free...down there my friends are dying. I can get away from that." _

_ "I never expected you to be the selfish type._

_ "I can be with you again." _

_ "It's not the time. Please forget me. Go back to Ouran. Go back to you friends. Go back to the boy that you love." Haruhi thought for a long time. She weighed the pros and cons. "I love you, mom. But I need to go back. I don't want to die yet. I've got a life to live." She hugged her mother._

_ "Don't let go, mom." Kotoko kept holding onto her daughter. "Don't worry. You'll be OK." Haruhi could have sworn she heard singing:_

_ "Cara bel/__Cara mia bella/Mia bambina/Haruhi,_

_Che la stima/Che la stima/Oh! Cara mia, addio._

_La mia bimba/Cara/Perche non passi lontana/Si lontana da decesso!" Haruhi felt the light glowing, glowing, glowing around her, and she felt it all slip away as she felt herself falling through realms back into the land of the living._

_ "Cara/cara mia bambina/Ah mia bel/_

_Ah mia cara/La mia cara/La mia bambina,_

_Oh cara, cara mia…"_

The light enveloping Haruhi turned to a dark, bloody, red, as she groggily opened her eyes, seeing her friends standing over her.

Jake heard the third explosion as he walked solemnly to the 1-A rendezvous point, when he remembered: If he could reach Tamaki and Satoshi, they could confront Kyoya together. Searching the now-sprawling infirmary, he found Tamaki, who was being treated for minor injuries, and Renge, who was working as a nurse. "Have you seen Satoshi?"

"Uh-No, I don't remember seeing him-Oh."

"What, can you see him-" Three stretchers were brought into the room. Satoshi was knocked out cold. He had blood all over. All his limbs were broken. Behind him were a boy with slashed wrists, and a girl who was still and cold. "Oh god! Oh god! Oh my god!"

"We've got to get to Kyoya. Now."

"Where could he be?" Jake remembered that fisticuffs club that he had went to once or twice, but before he could explain, Renge grabbed his arm. "I know. Follow me!"

Jake grabbed the arm of his fellow host, and they charged towards the Ouran high school fight club, passing the dead, maimed, and dying. "Jake? Are you-crying?"

"What? No, mate-not at all." Jake, Renge and Tamaki burst through the door of the Fight club. "OTOORI!" Kyoya was there, as well as Kaoru and Ritsu, who were manning the computers. Sollux and Dirk were chatting in the room, blissfully unaware of the extent of the carnage carried out by their hands. Kyoya turned his head, but couldn't see Jake, as the entire room lit up in a blinding flash.

==End of Act 2 Act 1 Intermission 1

==AK: Begin Act 2 Act 1 Intermission 1 Act 1

==AK: Be future Karkat.

"UUH, THE FUCK IS EVERYONE UP?" Karkat woke up to hear the TV on. It was dead at night, and they had the fucking nerve-Wait, why are Jane and Roxy looking at the screen with much more intent than everyone else, and why is Feferi crying into Kanaya's shoulder, and why-OH. OH FUCK. OH HELL. OH HELL FUCKING NO. There, on CNN, was the following headline: OURAN HIGH SCHOOL IN BOMBING ATTACK.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA]

TA: hey KK

CG: CCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRR!

CG: WHAT THE FUCK?

TA: KK?

TA: iif iit'2 about the bomb2, ye2, iim 2afe, iim iin a ba2ement.

CG: WELL, FUCK THAT. IF IT'S A WARZONE WE'RE INROLLING YOU IN, I'M SENDING A NOTE TO FUCKING SOMEBODY AND I'M GOING TO BE REALLY PISSED BECAUSE

TA: KK

TA: bye now my giirlfriiend ii2 beatiing up kyoya.

CG: WAIT, WHAT?

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

==End of Act 2 Act 1 Intermission 1 Act 1


	5. Act 2 Act 1 Intermission 2

==AK: Begin Act 2 Act 1 Intermission 2

==Hours in the past, but not many:

"Uhhhh..." Eridan woke up in a street. _I should be fuckin dead. _A few yards away, Nekozawa woke up in a trashcan. "What now?" Eridan looked at his friend. "Go back to Ouran. I need someone back there. I'll try to savve wwhat I can." As Nekozawa turned into a black kite and flew away, Eridan called back to him. "Thanks, Nek. Think wwe can be friends again?" The kite nodded and flew away. Eridan looked at his wand, which was worse for wear. It wasn't snapped in two, it was just... looking a little frail. After about fifteen minutes of directions that could get a boy scout lost, Eridan ended up at the front of Lobelia. It looked like a military complex. "WWhat?" Eridan decided it best if he distorted his appearance; he changed his appearance to an adult version of a much-missed friend of his. A girl walked up to Eridan. "Turn back. We're closing off all the exits due to a breach in our security." Eridan adjusted his voice for the role:

"Uhhh, I'm Dave Strider. Tokyo police. I'm here to investigate the crime scene, and I wwont be twwo-" If Eridan's true voice began to crack, it was drowned out in a loud BOOM. Dust flew everywhere. _Oh fuck no._ _Time for plan B._ Eridan whipped out his wand, and teleported into the hall, behind the girls. Slipping the glowstick into his pocket while changing back into his old appearence, he ran out of the hall, looking for Reiko. _She has to be here somewwhere. _Burstingout into the open, he scanned for her, finding nothing but smoke. _They musta put some fuckin homemade napalm or some shit in the mix._ He ran through the smoke. Some of the carnage was happening. He found not Reiko at the office of the Zuka club, whose front wall was blown apart by the first bomb, but a certain member of the Zuka club who had aroused his ire over the past few months. He had a clear shot at her. Perhaps the ex-troll could make it look like an accident...

"No." The girl, who had heard him, turned around. Eridan checked his wand; see if he could disappear, become invisible. He saw that the stick had turned into a small metallic bar. "Oh fuck." It had happened twice before: Eridan's wand had burned out. It needed a few minutes or hours or days to sort itself out. Only he didn't have that time, as Chizuru turned her head to look through the smoke to see none other than Eridan Ampora. Eridan turned and ran, and heard a pair of angry footsteps pace behind him. "HEY! YOU!" Eridan kept running, the footsteps increasing in sound. End of the road for Eridan. He was helpless. He wished he had his wand back and well again. Backed up against the wall, he went for plan B. "Listfin, It's not me, I can explain-"

"You'd better." Eridan opened his mouth to explain. "Ww-wwe vvoted on wwether wwe should share the stock attack with the world, and the GROUP consensus wwas not to, but Tam and I did it anywway, an then one thing led to another, and then Kyo and Sol ended up bombin both schools, and I wwent here to find Reiko in the mix and take her back to Ouran, as she IS a student-"

"-Even though you are well aware she broke up with you?"

"Yeah, and evven though wwe did, I wwanted to get her outta here, cause I care about her just as much as you!" The two stood in silence as the dead piled around elsewhere. "So because of your stubbornness, and your need to be so arrogant and your want to stick it to us was so bad, one of your friends had to TAKE A BOMB and throw it at all of us?" Eridan froze. She DID have a point. "Yeah...I guess." She hit him across the face, Eridan feeling blood on his lips. "Listen! Ain't ya tired a this? All this fuckin fightin? And I knoww I'm bein a huge hypocrite by sayin this, but can't wwe just get along, just for today? Wwhile our schools burn and while the two of us put them back together simultaneously, can't wwe do it together? If just for today?" Chizuru froze as Eridan held out his hand. "COME ON!" After looking the host hard in the face for what seemed to be the longest time, the girl took his hand. "Let's go." The two walked away from the smoke cloud. "Wwhere did you last see her?"

"When your Ouran friend left the premises, she went to her rendezvous point."

"And wwhy aint you there?"

"I was held up."

"Right. Let's go to the rendezvvous, and see wwhat wwe can find." On the way to their class, they ran into a high school first year. "Chizuru."

"Hinako. What stage are we at?"

"If all goes well, we should be stage two."

"Stage twwo?"

"The classes being grouped into the grades. Hinako, can you pause class 2-1 for me, just for a moment?"  
"Sure." Hinako spoke a few orders into her walkie-talkie, before running off. "That should buy us some time."

"So I suggest wwe head there?"

"Yes, let's, and I-" BANG. A loud and rumbling gunshot-like noise echoed throughout the hall. "It couldn't havve."

"We can't know that. It happened all around us. Maybe it happened at two places at once." They arrived at the class. There was rubble and dust all over. Nobody was there. The place was deserted, except for one student. She had a fine residue of something that smelled like gasoline, orange juice, and burning sawdust about her. "Evverybody musta run off...wwho is-" As Eridan wiped off the soot off of the girl's face; he let out something off a scream. The blood-and-soot-swept face belonged to Reiko Kanakuzi.

_A thirteen year old girl walked into her school, Kenran academy. She had gathered her strength. She was going to do this. She would confess to __Jean-Pierre Leo, that foreign exchange student from France who was getting the eye of every girl in the school. She would do this. She collected her courage. In history class, she wrote a note. _

_ 'Meet me outside, in the hall. -Kanakuzi.' Jean asked the teacher if he could leave. Reiko followed suit. "You wanted to speak to me, Reiko-san?" Reiko looked at the boy. _I can have him if I just confess,_ she thought. "Well, it's like this, Jean-kun...I think you're a really nice boy, and I want to-oh what am I saying. I-I love you. There. I said it..." Jean looked at her with a kind eye. "I didn't know you felt that way about me...and I'm sorry. I'm going to start a host club. How can we date if I'm 'dating' fifteen others?" It began to sink in for young Reiko. She began to shake in her shoes. "Listen, you're a nice girl. I hope you can find someone who can love you the way I can't." Reiko felt sparks dance around her. She felt her body heat rise. Then-BOOM._

_ From Kenran, into the entrance hall of Ouran. She walked around the hallways, exploring her new middle school for the first time. She had long been a student of Kenran, but thanks to an unexpected accident, which left several people in the hospital, she left that school for another in the middle of her middle school experience. "Miss Kanakuzi? Your guide is here. He is in another year, but he will be able to take you to your classes, and accompany you at lunch."_

_ "Why thank you." The Superintendent left her, and came back with an attractive blonde, blue-eyed man, and his hair straight, covering one eye. "This is Umetio Nekozawa. He is a middle school third year." Nekozawa shook hands with her. "Hello, Reiko." Reiko couldn't help but notice how attractive he was. "Are all the boys like this?" She murmured to herself. "I don't care. I think I'll like this school just fine."_

_ "Perhaps you'd like to pay a visit to the host club? It's free on your first time." It was the end of a busy day, and Reiko was exhausted._

_ "The host club?"_

_ "They're a group of young men with too much time on their hands who entertain girls with too much time on their hands."_

_ "I see." Reiko thought a while, before giving her reply. "No thanks. Are you part of a club?"_

_ "I'm part of an odd club. Promise not to laugh?"_

_ "Promise."_

_ "The black magic club." Reiko gave a small chuckle. "May I join you?"  
"But of course!" They went off to the double winged black doors. _

_ "Reiko, I've read your file. There was an accident that ended your time at Kenran, no?"_

_ "Um, yeah. I was in history class. Explosion. Wasn't big. Why?"_

_ "I've given the file a look, and I want to say something. Reiko, this might be hard to accept, but you have a tremendous capacity for witchcraft and sorcery."_

_ "Are you joking?"_

_ "I'm as serious as I'll ever be. Will you join us at the black magic club?" Reiko nodded. "I'll give it a try."_

_ Reiko was a natural. She learned each spell and potion with ease, though she excelled in curses most of all. However, at the same time, she couldn't help but notice that Nekozawa was getting distant. Overprotective. He began to wear a hood; he began to fear the sunlight. He even forgot he even had a baby sister. He was a shut-in. When her old friend from Kenran and her crush for a few months, __Jean-Pierre Leo, visited Ouran, Nekozawa cursed him for a few months, attributing the curse to Reiko. Jean-Pierre never came by again. Then, she ran into THAT boy way too young for seventeen. "Are you alright?"_

_ "Yes, I'm sorry-"_

_ "Kanakuzi-chan, Isn't it? I'm Mitsukuni Haninozuka, but you can call me Honey-Senpai!" A downright adorable blonde boy was staring her down, his hand outstretched. Not needing help, she got up on her own. "I haven't seen you that much, Reiko-chan!"_

_ "Um, yeah-I, uh, don't go to the host club at all. Never been."_

_ "That's sad. Can you come?" Reiko didn't want to make this kid cry. "UM-Sure! I'll try to find time in my schedule..." As she walked away, she heard him say: "When you come for the first time, you get a private session for free!" She pondered that. She would request that private session. She would get to know Mitsukuni Haninozuka. She would make that boy hers. ALL hers. _

_ "I'm sorry, Reiko. The concerns of our guests are important for us, but the safety of our hosts we value even more. I'm afraid I can't let you request Honey-senpai." Reiko walked away, and She felt tears come to her eyes. "Why? Why can't I have him? I couldn't have Jean, now Honey-senpai...what's wrong with me?" Then, she saw the light. It wasn't why, but how. She'd been using the wrong method. She needed to get dirtier. She needed to do what she did best. And that thing was curses._

_ "Hello, Reiko." It was the Halloween masquerade. Nekozawa accosted Reiko, along with a high school first year with a ridiculous hairstyle and a cape. "Reiko, this is my friend, Eridan Ampora, a foreign exchange student from America who will be spending his high school days here at Ouran. He's part of the host club, but does a bit of magic on the side." Eridan looked at the girl with a smile. "Hi. Wwhat's up?"_

_ "What's with the voice?"_

_ "It's a speech impediment. I had it all my life." _

_ "I'm sorry to hear that."_

_ "No, it's reely okay."_

_ "And fish puns?"_

_ "I livved near a fishing community up in Long Island." Reiko raised an eyebrow; she knew the boy was lying. "So Nekozawa tells me you do magic?"_

_ "WWhale, I don't knoww wwhy Nek said that. Magic ain't reel, an wwhatevver you're doing has some perfectly natural explanation attributed to it, if not just smoke an mirrors."_

_ "I doubt it."_

_ "So, I don't see you often in the host club."_

_ "Yeah, they banned me from my favorite host."_

_ "Wwho?"_

_ "Honey-senpai."_

_ "I'm sorry to hear that. I'll talk to Kyo or Tam about it."_

_ "Thank you. In the meantime, Could you slip this in his cake?" Reiko slipped Eridan a small, edible patch._

_ "Shore. I reely don't mind." Eridan paused for a moment. "Wwell, you havve a good night."_

_ "You too." Reiko heard the fireworks roaring around her, as she looked at the two young wizards looking out. "Eridan Ampora, huh?" An extraordinary detonation of color blinded her, and she snapped back to the real world._

"Howw-?"

"She must have shielded the bomb from everyone. Oh god, this wouldn't have happened if I kept the procedure as it was."

"I don't knoww that."

"Whatever, can you get her out of here?"

"N-No."

"WHAT?"

"My wwand, uh, burned out-?"

"Be serious with me!"  
"I am!"

"And you're not trying to start some sort of drama that will end up getting me killed?"

"WWait, wwhat? No!" Eridan brought out his wand. "However, we can fix it. It depends, but the place matters. I'vve found a church wworks best. Do you have a church?"

"Just the only minor basilica in the greater Kanto area."

"Great. Come on!"  
"Wait. How do we carry her?" Eridan looked at her. "Look awway."

"Why should I-"

"LOOK AWWAY!" With Chizuru's eyes closed, Eridan slammed Reiko into a large part of his sylladex. "Come on...Do you need a wweapon or somefin? And you do, because my wwand wwill do absolutely jack shit."

"The stage combat swords will do. Besides, they're on the way."

"Ya knoww howw to use them?"

"Yes."

"Great. Come on." They made a quick stop at the office. It was already cleared out and safe to enter. Chizuru used a key to get in the lockers that held the swords. "Can you use a sword?"

"Uh, no."

"Doesn't matter. Come on." They headed to the end of the hall, where a side door to the Basilica of Saint Lobelia awaited them. "Is there anything else you need?"

"Yeah. A book I can burn. It takes a long time to explain, but I need to burn a text, scroll, or book pertaining to a religious faith. I can use other books, but these wwork best." He turned to face Chizuru. "May I use your bible?"

"No. I can't allow it."

"Dire times, dire measures. Let's go."

"How log should it take?"

"If we're lucky, fifteen minutes. Twwo hours tops. Come on." Eridan put the bible on the altarpiece, a lighter next to it. He slipped his wand somewhere into Luke, his favorite book. He then lighted the bible, and then, the book and the wand began to levitate, turning white. "Hey Eridan! I just heard from my walkie talkie that some people saw the smoke, and they're coming this way!"

"Try to reason wwith them." Eridan put Reiko on the altar, to give the real impression.

"We're burning up bibles! Do you think they even want to?" At this, several girls ran in the room. "Miss Maihara, come with us! We're detaining you."

"Give me some time."

"NOW."

"As an honorary leader of the Lady Benibary Combat Team, I order you to stand down."

"No."

"You're making a big mistake here, maidens."

"Not so."

"Where are your orders?"

"No orders. We came here, and find you an Ouran student, a HOST, no less, burning a levitating bible. Unchristian witchcraft, defamation of the book, and collaboration with an Ouran host? How can you call yourself a Student of Lobelia, much less a Member of the White Lily league?"

"WWHO SAID THAT?" A silent Hinako Tsuwabuki came around a column. "Hinako, this is all for the best." Eridan chimed in, a desperate attempt out get out of this. "Listfin to me. I'm trying to get Reiko and myself back to Ouran. Let me do this totally necessary evvil, and then wwe wwill get out a ya hair, I swwear. You'll nevver see me evver again." Hinako smiled. "Fat chance. Reiko Kanakuzi is a student of Lobelia and a member of the Zuka club, and will remain that way until she graduates. We're here to make sure you suffer in at least one way, if not another." Benio Amakuza appeared out of another. "That stock attack didn't even put the Ouran host club out of commission. But I'll make sure at least one of its members feels the despair that can come of it. And I might let two of the members feel hopelessness. I've seen the way Mei and that gangster interact. Perhaps I can keep them apart forever." Hinako and Benio left out the front of the chapel. "Deal with the traitor. Throw the host out of the school with that pretty little trinket of his. When you're done, put Reiko in the infirmary." The seven girls pounced on Chizuru. She was good, really good. Fighting off the girls, and even putting one or two down for the count. "Hey! You wwanna come wwith us?"

"NO! It would only look suspicious. I'll guard for you."

"They'll never accept you again! Come on!"

"NOBODY WILL!"

"That ain't true. COME ON!" Eridan began to hold up the bible. The wand began to glow, before making the pages of the good book explode. Replacing it was a spark of the wand. "How do you make a portal?"

"UUH, Think of the place, then make the portal!"

"Great!"

"SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE! I'LL KEEP IT OPEN INCASE YOU CHANGE YA MIND."

"BYE!" A swirling white vortex appeared behind Eridan. Eridan carried Reiko through the entrance, into s dimly lit room where all his friends were waiting. Eridan could hear a scream as he passed through the door. Most everyone was there: the host club (sans Haruhi or Satoshi) was there, as well as Renge.

"Eridan? Is that you?"

"Yeah. Long fuckin story. Do ya havve a cot or anything?" Dirk had already run up and detached the cot from the wall. "Listfin: I'vve got to get back. Wwait for me."

"HEY! WWHERE ARE YOU?" Eridan ran around the now ruined cathedral. At long last, he saw a cracked, bleeding body. Chizuru Maihara. She opened her eyes to Eridan. Eridan knelt next to her. "Listfin, I'll get ya somewwhere-Do you need anything?"

"N-No...Keep her safe, alright? Will you do that for me?" It was clear she was going to die. Eridan nodded. "I'll keep her safe, I promise." But he realized that those words would remain in the physical world. Picking up Reiko, he went through the portal, and closed it behind him.

"I can't believe you did this." Tamaki faced his old friend. "How could you? Have you no soul? Have you no-no scruples?"

"I have plenty."

"I doubt it. Tell that to Kanako, or Satoshi, or Haruhi-"

"Haruhi?" Kyoya spoke in hushed tones. "Haruhi?"

"Yes, Kyoya. You killed our daughter." Kyoya began to sobs. "How did she-"

"She shielded my body from the first bomb. She was the first victim." Tears erupted from Kyoya's eyes. "But why would you care? You're the heartless killer here, unless-"

"I killed-her?"

"Yes."

"I-killed-my-Haruhi." Tamaki's interest was piqued. "Wait. What do you mean 'my Haruhi?'"

"I-" But Tamaki knew. "You've kicked the Hornet's nest now, Kyoya. How long?" Tamaki made a wild hook at Kyoya. Kyoya, clearly the better fighter, parried the blow, and stabbed Tamaki in the face with his fist. Tamaki caught his face, tasting surprisingly little blood. "Is-is this how far our apple has rotted away, mon ami?"

"I guess we became a pumpkin, Hikaru."

"The carriage was nice, Kaoru." Sollux looked up from his phone. Eridan could see he was texting Karkat. "Our happy little famiily ii2n't 2o happy, anymore, ED. Both of them."

"Tell me about it." Kyoya was facing the television monitors, Feeds. The BBC, the NBC, the NHK, and others. "What's this about, Kyoya? Another 'ultimate weapon'?"  
"You could say that. What does the world say, in response to our actions?" The feeds began playing...

"...what is this, Bill, how do you..."

"...Vzryv bomby v Yaponii-"

"Breaking news in Tokyo..."

"...Morta, mucho morta..."

"Je suis dans Ouran, et il ya tant de morts ici-"

"...Korewa Lobelia to Ouran..."

"And it's just in we have a special message from Lobelia in response to the crisis..."

"Suggesting the suspension of a decades-long rivalry..."

"Korewa Zuka Kurabu Responsu:"

"End of an era for the famous rivalry..."

"'Host club shutdown' finito-"

"Ouran-Loblia Funso wa owari..."

"I DID IT!" Kyoya faced the crowd of horrified hosts on both sides. "We did it. It is just as Ramses the Great once said: 'Israel is desolate and her seed is no more, and Palestine has become a widow for Egypt-all the countries are united and pacified.'"

"You can't get awway wwith this."

"Can't get away with it? Will you expose me, digging a deeper hole and undoing the peace that dozens died and were wounded for? Kill me and my party, risking subsequent investigation. You're in checkmate, logically." Renge walked up to Kyoya. "I'm sorry, Kyoya. It's just...too much to deal with."

==Renge: make him pay.

WHAM. WHAM. WHAM. WHAM. Kyoya was laying in an eagle-spread position, his hands and feet broken, in a T-shape. Renge was laying blow after blow, striking Kyoya's chest. Kyoya remembered her blows. He remembered her blows. That boy at fight club...

"RENGE! GET OFF HIM!" Hikaru and Sollux pulled Renge away from the boy. Renge caught her breath, before speaking again. "Remember...last year? When I fell in...in love with you? REMEMBER? And Haruhi told me to see someone for who they truly are? Well, I think I get it now. I get it. You, Kyoya Otoori, are a horrible, little man. If only Haruhi could practice what she preached, but SHE'S TOO DEAD TO DO THAT!" Sollux spoke into her ear. "Renge. Renge. Lii2ten two what II'm 2ayiing. 2top thii2. Thii2 ii2n't what Haruhii would want." Kyoya stirred, attempting to get up, but groaned in pain when he put his foot down. "Should we vvisit Har?"

"I think it best. And we can get Kyoya a wheelchair."

"Come on, let'2 go." Eridan left his wand floating overhead Reiko, letting her heal. Hikaru stood at the side of the door, then stops Eridan from getting out. "I lied about the platonic thing. I actually loved Reiko, once. Then you took her away from me. Then," He said, pointing at her, "She got stolen from both of us." The room was left empty, except for Tamaki and Kyoya.

"Haruhi!" The girl woke up, to see her friends standing over her. "Get 2ome re2t. You ju2t took a bomb to the che2t."

"Wwhat's the last fin ya remember?"

"I just remember carrying Tamaki and-TAMAKI! Where is he?"

"Don't worry. Tamaki is safe. Are you all right?"

"Yes. How about you?"

"I'm fine."

"Did they have to-Uh-cut you open?"

"I don't feel anything. What do you mean?" Jake leaned over her. "Did you reveal your gender to anyone?"

"No, I don't think so." Sollux ran a hand over her body, static electricity latching onto her skin. "Not a 2cratch."

"You should be dead."

"I WAS in a coma. NDE, that sorta stuff."

"Wwell, come on. Let's go to see the three others, and get a wwheelchair for Kyo."

"Wheelchair?"

"He got injured. Bomb blast."

"Huh. Who could have done that?"

_You're going to get everything you want-not by debate and resolution, but by iron and blood!_

-Otto Von Bismarck

Chika woke up first, in a hospital bed. "Oh god..." His arms were bandaged, but free. He looked to his left, and he saw Kimiko lying on her back, her chest beginning to heave. He looked to his right and nearly screamed. The host club was surrounding a hospital bed. Kyoya was in a wheelchair. Chika got up, and walked over to the cot. There was Satoshi Morinozuka. He was dying, barely clinging to life.

_If I hadn't been so possessive, I would have never tried to hurt Kimiko...I would have never forced him to save us...and now he's dead. It's my fault he's dead! I might have killed both of them!_

Satoshi got up, and walked over to the bed of his cousin. It was going at about 6 beats per minute. Takeshi had joined his brother, accompanied by Honey. "Is Sato-chan going to die?" Takeshi remained silent. "Hi, Chika-chan." Honey didn't even try to fight, breaking a centuries-long custom. "How is he?"

"Dying, a2 alway2." A nurse came into the ward. "Mr. Ampora? Miss Kanakuzi is awake, she's ready to see you." Eridan, with Hikaru in tow, came to her ward. She was lying like some angel. "R-Reiko?"

"Eridan?"

"It's safe. Ya safe wwith me. It's all right."

"Where is she?"

"Wwho?"

"Chizuru?" Eridan felt his throat clench up. He looked up a Hikaru. "Listen, just calm down, let's get ya settled first..."

"What? Where is she?"

"Listen, just settle down, please-"

"Where is she? Why can't I see her?" Winds began to pick up around Eridan and Reiko. "Maybe wwe should talk-"

"WHERE IS SHE?"

"Relax, all right?" The winds were at full blast now. "Should I get help?"

"NO! DON'T!" Eridan planted his feet at her bed. "Reiko, there was nothing I could do, please, I'm so sorry-  
"WHERE?"

"She didn't wwant to go through the portal, please, I tried to savve her-"

"WHERE IS SHE?" Reiko levitated herself from the hospital bed, the winds swirling around her. The oxygen tanks were emptied; Eridan had trouble breathing.

"Reiko, stop this! Noww!" Pausing for a moment, he decided to reveal the truth. "SHE'S DEAD, ALL RIGHT?! SHE GOT CUT DOWN BY THE LOBELIA GUARDS! SHE DIED A TRAITOR, JUST SO YOU COULD LIVVE AN OURAN STUDENT! WWE WWORKED TOGETHER IN HER LAST HOURS SO YOU COULD LIVVE! ARE YOU HAPPY NOWW?" Reiko screamed out of rage. "Oh fuck. GET DOWWN!" Eridan and Hikaru ducked under Eridan's shield.

==Reiko: go grimdark

BOOM. Where the outside hospital wall was once was remained a hole. Her room's equipment lay broken and askew. "Did she cause the room to explode?"

"An air blast, more like it..." Reiko remained floating in the center of the hole. "CALM DOWWN!" Reiko spoke in an macabre tone: "NO."

"Hik, get back to the others, I'm takin the fight elsewwhere." Hikaru ran outside to the ward. Eridan felt himself go to the first place he thought of. _Anywwhere. Anywwhere but here. _As he felt the flash of light envelop him and Reiko, he chucked as place of irony came into his mind.

Reiko and Eridan popped into existence in the Ouran golf course. "Reiko, listen to me!" Reiko let out a roar of rage, as she sprang into being a giant ray of light at Eridan. "OH, FUCK!" Eridan dodged the beam as he sprang into action. As they dueled, Eridan noticed that she was getting better than when they had first fought. "Listen, calm dowwn, alright?" Reiko would do no such thing. _Time to go on the offensive. _Eridan lunged at her, launching wave after wave. "COME ON!" Reiko was blocking only a select few, before being knocked out. Finally, her aura began subside. Her tentacles began to dissipate, before her essence was disabled altogether. Her eyes revealed their true color. "Eridan?"

"Reiko?" Reiko sat up. "Where am I?"

"You're at the Ouran golf course."

"Why? And why am I in a hospital gown?"

"Wwe dueled, remember?" Eridan put a hand to cover his mouth. "Reiko? Wwhat's the last thing you remember?"

"Lobelia...LOBELIA! I have to get there!"

"Wwhy?"

"The student exchange! REMEMBER!?" Reiko stood up. "Listen to me! I've got to get to the car!" _She doesn't remember the bombings...not Lobelia...not even her_. "Let's get back...there's been some accident. Let's go." Eridan opened a portal to the hospital, and a confused Reiko followed.

"Mister English? Someone to see you." Jake left the bedside. "Toru."

"Jake."

"I'm so sorry. There was nothing I could do."

"Just as well. Her rib punctured her lung, according to the doctors."

"It's too late. She was declared dead in the infirmary."

"That's not the reason I'm here." Toru handed Jake a small slip of paper. "A funeral?"

"You're to be a pallbearer, if that's all right with you."

"No, not at all." Jake paused. "I'd like to be with you for the reading of the will, if I may."

"Of course." A small explosion was heard. "What was that?"

"Probably some gas leak. Shall we?"

"Of course. My dorm was rather out of sorts because of the bomb and because it's part of the investigation area, so I'd like a place to stay." Back in the ward, the twins had already left, taking Sollux and Dirk with them. Kyoya was taking Haruhi to her father's. Tamaki had left alone. Mori and Honey had absconded, leaving Chika alone. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry." Chika grabbed a knife from the nurse's desk, and then held it to his quivering arm, before flinging it to the ground in hate.

Renge was crying softly to herself as she drove back to her house. The sky was now a dark azure color. She wasn't expecting to lose friends in this bitter struggle. Kanako, Haruhi, Satoshi...she lost people and almost lost people. In her sobs, a short tune came to her lips: "There was a time when men were kind/When their voices were soft/And their words inviting/There was a time when love was blind/And the world was a song/And the song was exciting/There was a time/Then it all went wrong..." Back in the hospital, Chika began to sing out of pain: "I dreamed a dream in time gone by/When hope was high/And life worth living..." As Haruhi sat on the steps of her apartment, tea in hand, she began connected to the music. "I dreamed that love would never die/And that God would be forgiving..."

"Then I wwas young and unafraid/So dreams were made and used and wwasted/ There was no blood to be shed/No song unsung/No wwine untasted." Tamaki glared bitterly at the back of his driver's head: "But the shadows came at night/With their voices soft as thunder/as they tore our hope apart/And they turned our dreams to shame!" Chika scowled at Satoshi as he neared the bed: "He slept a summer by my side/He filled my days with endless wonder/He took our friendship in his stride/But he was gone when autumn came/And still I dream he'll come to me/That we will live the years together/But there are dreams that cannot be/And there are storms we cannot weather..." Haruhi, Eridan, Tamaki, Renge, and Chika, all somehow connected by the tragedy, spoke the same words: "We had a dream our lives would be/So different from this hell wwe're livving/So different now from what it seemed/Now life has killed/The dream we dreamed." Chika let a tear fall from his cheek and it splashed on Satoshi. "So that's it." Chika lunged backwards, before stopping himself at the edge of a very pointy thing. "Strider. What are YOU doing here?"

==AK: End Act 2 Act 1 Intermission 2

==AK: End Act 2 Act 1


	6. Act 2 Act 2

==AK: Begin Act 2 Act 2

Jake carried Kanako's casket to the burial site. She had requested a Christian funeral. It was like she had planned this all along. "Oh god. She's dead. She's dead, and nothing on god's good earth will bring her back." Jake looked at Toru on the other side, and was surprised to see not a single tear on the other boy's face. Jake laid her casket in the tomb. "Ashes to ashes...Dust to dust." Jake took a mound of dirt and laid it on her tomb. _Why do I feel this way? Why am I so sad? This is so abnormal, why am I so forlorn like this? Stiff upper lip, mate, but that isn't possible now. She was just a friend, why can't she stay that way now?_ Jake's thoughts were interrupted by a certain boy tapping him on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Jake? The reading of the will should start in a few hours."

"Course, mate."

"Hey, Chika."

"Dirk."

"How is the arm?"

"Good. It should heal in a few days. Kimiko already got released. She has no memory of what happened, and a psychiatrist is reconstructing the details.

"What about Satoshi?"

"His leg bones are broken. Shattered. A surgical procedure, and he won't walk for two years-if he ever walks at all. Not to mention the coma he's in, but the MRI said that he's in a dreamlike state. Weird." Dirk sat at the foot of Chika's bed.

"Why do you care, anyway?"

"Because I love him, and I can still care about him, even if he never knows."

"Why should he not?"

"Even through he is a second cousin anyway-how would my father react?"

"Yeah, being-you know-gay-it's hard at first." Chika choked back a sob. "I'm already living in the shadow of Mitsukuni, and the fact that he doesn't even count as a Haninozuka angers me enough. Ours is an old family, honoring tradition and strength. I don't want to be the child who disappoints his father. Mitsukuni is already a decadent weakling and still, he gets to be the heir. He's the one who get's all the money and the status, and I'm always the kid who is his second fiddle, the player two. And after being GAY, and incestuous-I think that dad would write me out of the will entirely. My dad's a known homophobe, always has, always will"

"I wouldn't say that. In reality, just let your dad adjust. You're his son, and you're still a member of the Haninozuka family, no matter what people say. And because of that, Honey and Mori are still there. They still care about you more than I do."

"What about Satoshi? Should I just let him stay with Kimiko? He'd reject me, wouldn't he?"

"I wouldn't reject you, Chika." Chika and Dirk froze as a certain Morinozuka opened his eyes. "Um, how much did you listen?"

"Not a clue about what you're talking about, but I wouldn't reject you!" Dirk smiled as he left the room, leaving an extremely confused Satoshi. "What WERE you talking about, anyway?"

"None of your business, Satoshi. Nevermind."

"So what you're saying is that Ouran AND Lobelia got bombed?"

"Yeah. Not many people died though. Kanako, Chizuru-"

"Hmm. You mean the girl who we met during the competition?"

"Yeah."

"That's sad. Where was I?" Eridan decided to lie to her. "You wwere caught up in the blast. That's howw you got amnesia."

"Oh. What else happened?"

"Nofin."

The men and women of Kanako's life gathered all in black in a small courtroom, all school friends, tutors, and executives. A tall man in spectacles, presumably her lawyer, pulled a small box onto the table. He said her last will and testament, a painting here, some furniture there, et cetera. Finally, he spoke something of importance: "To Toru Suzushima, I entrust to you the sum of Four hundred million yen." Toru nodded glumly, but Jake was a bit surprised. _She's his bloody wife. Why not the entire company?_ "To Jake English: I entrust to you-wait, this can't be right." _Oh well. Some sort of painting we looked at, I suppose, or a teacup. Nothing major. _"It's all right, no need to keep me waiting." The lawyer continued:

"To Jake English: I entrust to you the heirdom of my father's company, with all of its rights, privileges, and responsibilities, as well as the custody of my one and only child, Hiroshi Suzushima." Jake froze in his seat. "I'm sorry, what?"

"The late Kanako Kasugazaki has entrusted you with Kasugazaki Incorporation, as well as the legal guardianship of her son. This is an honor." Jake English did not take their compliments, or their comments. He simply got out of his chair, turned, and ran. Outside, he Stared up at the still-raining heavens, and screamed out:

_"I've never so adored you/Untwisting allegories now/You want to complicate this?/ Don't make me do this to myself/Unchasing rollercoasters/I need to have you closer now/Endless romantic stories/You never could control me!"_

_ "Well I never really thought that you'd die so young in this life/While this new crown hangs heavy on either side/Give me one last kiss; you're to young to die/Far too young to die..."_

_ "Fixation or psychosis?/Devoted to neurosis now/Endless horrific stories/Congrats, You've now controlled me!"_

_ "Well I never really thought that you'd die so young in this life/While this new crown hangs heavy on either side/Give me one last kiss; you're to young to die/Far too young to die..."_

Jake paused to look down around him to see Toru standing on the porch. "What are you going to do?"

"Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to sell her company back to you for a dollar."

"I'm not going to take it. It's an insult to her memory. Why did she give that to you?"

"I don't know, why?"

"Let me make it easier for you. Many people act out of love. She was one of them. Tell me, Jake, who did she love?"

"You."

"I wish. She did, but who did she love most, WHO?"

"Tamaki! Her last host before she hopped to me!"

"Are you really that much of an idiot? Answer me this one question: who. Did. She. LOVE?" Jake mentally crossed out every single one of the men who had a connection to her, who would merit her company. "No. Now you've got that wrong. She would never-please, she was just using me for sex, please, she never actually-"

"If I could pick the one person to have put the final nail in the coffin in our relationship, it's you, the one most reluctant to do so."

"No, it's not me, it's a mix-up of sorts, I can promise you, and it was just for one night-" But above anything, Toru looked confused. "She loved you. This should put your mind at ease. What's going on?"

"Meet you back at your house. I need to process something." Jake hailed the nearest cab before speeding off.

"Is he alright?" Tamaki was standing outside the hospital, an umbrella at the ready. "Yeah."

"That's good to hear. You, uh, have a ride?"

"No."

"Can we have lunch, by any chance?" Dirk shrugged. "Fine." Within the hour, they were at some Italian restaurant along the main drag. "Where are you staying?"

"At Kaoru's. My dorm is part of the investigation area. I'll probably get compensation." Tamaki noticed that Dirk had only used the younger twin's name, the one that he had fought with. "You still not over what happened? It's been at least a week now."

"I'm not over it."

"You should be."

"Guilty conscience. Jake will never look at me the same again. And I can't do the same. I set off the bomb that killed Kanako. And you-I-If it hadn't been for the both of us, we wouldn't have been like this."

"The second time we've broke up."

"I never got together with anyone else."

"Yeah, me neither."

"Should you say that we should meet other people?"

"No. Do what you want. But, you're graduating this year, and it seems futile to get back together."

"I actually want to talk to you about it." Dirk's interest was piqued. "Yeah, what?"

"It may seem clingy of me, but I-I want us to get back together." Dirk froze in his seat with an expressionless face. "Listen, the only reason that we broke up is because I wasn't on the same side as you. You never hurt me in the conflict, and I-"

"I knocked you out unconscious."

"I know, and I'm willing to overlook that. I was going to do the same." Tamaki held out his hand. "Can we take back what we had?" Dirk thought for a moment. "No."

"No?"

"It's way too much to process to come back together over. And in a few months, you're going to be graduating. What's the point?"

"Don't be like that, Dirk, we can still-"

"Sorry, Tamaki. That's my final word." Dirk turned on his heel, and strode out of the restaurant.

"Come on! Open the fuck up! I knoww ya in there!" Eridan was busy pounding on the door of his sworn enemy. "Get out!" Who should open the door but Benio Amakuza. "Well. If it isn't that home invader who burst into our school."

"I just called because I wwas wwonderin about wwhat you'd say about a late associate of yours."

"She's a traitor to the cause of the white lily league, and will be treated and spoken of as such. Why?"

"There's a small ceremony, caused by your...message of amnity. People are goin to be wwonderin wwhat you'll say about her, an I wwant to hear your speech for the evvent." as he said this, Eridan held up his wand to Benio's head.

"I was going to say that she died in an explosion."

"Good. An by the wway, you'vve lost it all. Reiko Kanakuzi has no memory of her time at Lobelia. She wwill continue to be an Ouran student and the guest of the host club until she graduates. And," Eridan stepped to the side to reveal Reiko on the passenger side of his car. "My gillfrond, for howwevver long she pleases." Eridan smirked as she closed the door in his face. The boy hopped in his car. "Come on. Let's get outta this hellhole. No offence, but ya nevver looked good in that uniform."

"Hey. Are you all right?" Haruhi, Kyoya, Sollux and Renge were sitting outside the Ouran Campus, rebuilding after the bombs. "The damage isn't that bad."

"Yes, it's gotten better remarkably. Ouran should be back into full swing by the time I graduate."

"But the other damage2-they'll alway2 bee there. Gog, II made tho2e bomb2. II made the niitrogyceriin. And for what?"

"So that generations of Ouran and Lobelia could coexist in peace.

"But the cost-"

"Don't you think I don't regret the cost? I think I'll lose so much sleep over all the death and destruction I caused. Kanako, Chizuru, Satoshi, Haruhi-"

"It's all right, Kyoya."

"Really? You think so? I've been waiting for this break-up talk for so long-"

"I considered it. I considered breaking up with you. But then, I guess I changed my mind. You did what you had to, in the end, and it worked. And there are plenty of people to put the blame on: I could blame the Zuka club for being poor sports and staring this whole mess in the first place, I could blame Mei for revealing the truth, I could blame Tamaki for revealing it to the world, But you know what? It would defeat the purpose of why you bombed the school. Like you said, I'd be in a personal moral stalemate."

"I agree with Haruhi. I'm, uh, sorry for beating you up, I guess."

"Well, all is said and done. I should be able to walk by the end of the summer."

"RITSU!" The gangster turned around to see Mei get off the Kagoshima train. "Hey, are you all right?"

"You never told me that there would be bombs!"

"I told you, you would know the next day."

"Who did that shit?"

"What?"  
"The bombing?"  
"Listen, I was part of the planning with Kyoya, and I-"

"Wait, wait, wait. KYOYA? Kyoya did it?"

"Yes, but let me finish." Ritsu began to explain what happened, the causes and the effects. "So If I didn't tell you what happened, if I didn't tell you that the Zuka club did it, this wouldn't have happened?"

"No other way to say it."

"Oh my lord. I can't-I don't even-I might be sick."

"Hey, Tamaki decided to release it to world media when all of us agreed no. You're not at fault."

"Why?"  
"Why did I do it?"

"Why did you save me?"

"I wanted to help you. If I told anyone else, they would have suspected something."

"Why?"

"Because I think I might be falling in love with you. Don't judge me."

"Not at all. Thanks."

"Your dorm is still being investigated for foul play. Do you have a place?"

"I don't want to be anywhere near my dad...can I sleep at your place?"

"Sure. My car is just outside. Will you-will you be returning to Lobelia next year?"

"No. I've decided to switch my lottery funding to Ouran."

Toru gave a short laugh as he carried the blonde up t the house bridal style. Setting her down in the foyer, He held her up against a wall as their lips met, blissfully unaware of his friend going down the spiral staircase. Jake pulled out his gun. "Toru, what's going on?"

"It's all right, Jake-" The elder boy paused in the middle of his sentence. "Who is this woman?"

"A classmate from England. She's going to stay here in the summer." Jake widened his eyes. "Hey, don't you have some sort of engagement tomorrow?"

"Screw that." Jake holstered his gun, before bringing his fist to Toru's face. The other boy clutched the bruised side of his head. "It all becomes clear now! From what I gather, you got guilty cheating! I was the best thing that ever happened to your love life! I was just a way for you to justify your behavior."

"Wait, I never-" Jake slammed his fist into the jaw of his former friend, making Toru sink to the floor. The Englishman began kicking the elder boy in the gut. "So this must be your rationale: 'Oh, its all right to cheat on my girlfriend all my life, because she's cheating on me!' I can't believe you! It explains so, so much! And not only do you cheat on a dear friend, lover, and wife for all your high school days, not only do you use me as an excuse to continue cheating on her, not only do you waste my time and talents by not telling me your side of the story when I had the chance and by doing so, indirectly railroading me into getting you and Kanako together, not only do you get back together with this-this whore of yours the second back to England, but you have the GALL to go ahead and shame all on her memory by inviting her back in! You might as well start fucking ON HER GRAVE!" Jake, twisted with fury and rage, whipped out his gun. "I'm feeling merciful, you repulsive insignificant, cad. I'm only going to pull the trigger once into your skull." Jake closed his eyes as he pulled the trigger. _Click._ Jake looked into the barrel of his gun, before opening the chambers. "Hmmm. Only barrel that didn't have a bullet in it. And I had no idea. Mister Suzushima, tomorrow will be the sweetest day of your life. And tonight's dinner will be the best you've ever tasted." Jake walked away, holstering his gun for the second time. "Scum."

"...And I'd like to thank all of you for coming to this solemn occasion. Many of the students you see here, like myself, have been affected by this profound event. Many people, myself partially included, believe that a domestic terrorist association conducted this attack. Let's assume, for out purposes, that they wanted to share our faith. Our belief in each other. They wanted to weaken our bonds. Well, I would like to say something to them, on my honor as a member of the house of Otoori. I would like to say to them that they have failed. Instead, they have made the bonds of the schools stronger than ever. The students of Lobelia and Ouran now have a point of reference to turn what was a harsh and painful enmity to a lasting and productive friendship. And so, I extend a hand of forgiveness and cooperation to who was a sworn enemy a not few months ago. I beg that you pray to whatever faith you believe in that this camaraderie will not be lost to time." Kyoya shook hands with Benio, before leaving the podium to take a seat, while the entire room around him erupted in thunderous applause. Eridan and Tamaki were not part of that applause. "Kyoya. We're really going to miss him. I think this ended so much better than if we had our way." Eridan shrugged. "Oh, come on! Wwe're goin to miss you, too!"

"That reminds me. I was hoping we'd have the chance to talk."

"About wwhat?"

"A small reason of why we failed to prevent the attack on the school was because I was preoccupied."

"On wwhat?"

"I've been thinking about my successor."

"So? I wwas thinkin you'd pick Sol or Hik or someone."

"No. Sollux will take up Kyoya's role as vice-president. As for Hikaru-I don't know how good he would be."

"So...You wwant me." Tamaki slipped out a key. "They key to the music room. And it's yours. You are the Leader of the Ouran High School Host Club." Eridan looked at the key, contemplating his new role.

"Thanks, I don't knoww howw I can-" But Tamaki was gone. "Talkin to air, I guess..."

It was the end of the day. Kyoya was sitting at the side of a glass box, with several flash drives of red light, white light, purple light. Kyoya pick up the purple flash drive. His own. "You have two giive them the truth 2omeday."

"You've figured out that?"

"Ye2. You victory 2hared wiith our 2e22iion."

"Why was I the sharer?"  
"Becau2e you were meant two 2hare."

"I can't do it, Sollux. I killed Renge. I killed Haruhi. Tamaki killed me."

"What happened?"

"We created an unbeatable boss. Honey-senpai got the Queen's ring, and went insane. Haruhi just barely killed him. In the end, none of us got to god tier. None of us even got to skaia."

"That'2 2cary."

"Imagine how it is for me."

"You have to giive iit two them. You owe iit two Haruhii."

"I did horrible things out there."

"2o diid Eriidan. 2o diid II. And II'm 2ure Jake and Diirk did 2ome 2hady 2tuff iin the game. Anyway, II'm gettin outta here. You make the call, iin the end." Sollux got up, and walked away, leaving a distressed Kyoya wondering what happened.

==End of Act 2 Act 2

==End of Act 2

==THE END


End file.
